We host swinger parties.
And here’s the problem with swinger parties.
When you were 21, what did you enjoy doing? Did you like nightclubs, drinking, picking up
on intoxicated members of the opposite sex?
Did you meet your spouse at a bar while dancing to loud music? If this was your life as a twenty-something,
then as a thirty-plus-something swinger, these kind of parties invoke nostalgia
as the two of you enjoy the swinging lifestyle.
But for some of us, when we were 21, we lived studious
church-going lives. Some of us never
went to a strip club or bar. We met our
spouse at a religious retreat. Now that
we’re swingers, we want to have sex with other couples, but how do we meet
them? It’s challenging. Of course, the internet is a great way, but
it lacks the face-to-face. That’s why we
attend swinger events. But most of the
swinger events are designed as a continuation of the night-club scene of which
we were never a part. At best, the
swinger events are at mid-quality venues. At worst: a dive-joint. The music is so loud that it’s impossible to
talk to others; the venues may have restrictions on sexual activities, the
lighting is dark, and the fog machine makes it a challenge to breathe. For some, this is sexy, but if it is, it is
only so because it is reminiscent of a time gone by. If we’re honest with ourselves, this is not
the assured segue to an orgy. How about
something with better lighting, quiet but sexy background music, clean, and no
restrictions on consensual sexual activity?
I’ve been to tons of swinger parties, but never been to one like that
that I didn’t host. To be fair, I have
had a couple of people come to a party that I hosted and complain that the
music wasn’t loud enough and that too many lights were on, but by that point,
they were drunk and no longer sexy to anyone; they just enjoyed the allure of
foreplay that is a nightclub. If couples
are really looking to make an intimate connection so they can engage in all the
fun and pleasures that swinging can offer, then the events need to mature and
be conducive to swinging.
