tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post4058829651327556876..comments2023-08-16T06:38:41.669-06:00Comments on Swingers-In-Love: Joe's Screw-up and Road to RedemptionAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16617103943393500409noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post-54668122041695945992016-07-03T11:02:36.384-06:002016-07-03T11:02:36.384-06:00Many years ago we were feeling isolated and while ...Many years ago we were feeling isolated and while I was at home one day alone I posted to a swinger group on Yahoo groups, tells you it was many years ago, and ask if people would just talk with someone with an open mind. A few responded and I started talking with them about all sorts of stuff. At times we would use Yahoo Messenger but at other times I would be in a chat room for one of the swinger groups I had joined. I would talk to my wife about what was being said and suggested she should join too. She felt pressured to join from that and did.<br /><br />(I wrote out just what happened but I've decided this isn't the place for those details. Just suffice it to say she met some people though the groups that she was having some good times with. She suddenly shut all of it down though. She was angry with me about what she was feeling.)<br /><br />I felt that trying to talk with her just came across as pressure to do something while all I wanted was to find out why the sudden change. I had trusted her to choose for herself and didn't try to force anything, though apparently I had not communicated well and came across as trying to get her to do things she didn't want to do.<br /><br />After more than ten years I got her to open up a little about what had happened. Some things were news to me including one of the men she was seeing wanted her to leave me and marry him.<br /><br />We lacked communication and it destroyed our trust in each other. I kept trying to find ways to restore the trust but kept messing it up. What I should have concentrated on was building better communication so I could rebuild the trust.<br /><br />What I was trying to say in my reply was don't fall into the trap I did, keep that communication open or the trust will never be rebuilt.Callenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17060446489304259464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post-49696383224255423942016-06-29T19:05:55.763-06:002016-06-29T19:05:55.763-06:00What do you mean that you lost communication by wo...What do you mean that you lost communication by worrying too much about trust? Please explain.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16617103943393500409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post-68581709848263916362016-06-29T19:03:40.481-06:002016-06-29T19:03:40.481-06:00It seems all relationships, whether they are vanil...It seems all relationships, whether they are vanilla, swinger, or some other alternative lifestyle, depend on trust and good communication. Keep up the good communication and with time the trust can be salvaged. Don't let your relationship fall into what mine did where we lost the communication as we were too worried about the trust. Definitely make him restore the trust but keep the communication open so that may happen. Good luck.Callenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17060446489304259464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post-30641212299859571772016-06-28T22:21:17.630-06:002016-06-28T22:21:17.630-06:00Yeah, he screwed up. He lied about sending the ema...Yeah, he screwed up. He lied about sending the email. I suppose I could have told him, "I know you sent an email. Why?" Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16617103943393500409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post-89358872039590344562016-06-28T12:29:34.867-06:002016-06-28T12:29:34.867-06:00I questioned the wisdom of playing with coworkers....I questioned the wisdom of playing with coworkers. <br /><br />As had been said many times in many ways.... Screw someone at work and the will turn around and screw you.<br /><br />And so much for honesty in relationships. When the small head starts doing the thinking for the big head ..... The eye of the small head sees and considers only one thing.Senihnalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14419210808131115731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3288242234953428836.post-30636304757896919432016-06-28T12:27:38.857-06:002016-06-28T12:27:38.857-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.Senihnalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14419210808131115731noreply@blogger.com