Saturday, May 18, 2013

How to Host a Wholesome Swinger Party


We host swinger parties.  And here’s the problem with swinger parties.

When you were 21, what did you enjoy doing?  Did you like nightclubs, drinking, picking up on intoxicated members of the opposite sex?  Did you meet your spouse at a bar while dancing to loud music?  If this was your life as a twenty-something, then as a thirty-plus-something swinger, these kind of parties invoke nostalgia as the two of you enjoy the swinging lifestyle.

But for some of us, when we were 21, we lived studious church-going lives.  Some of us never went to a strip club or bar.  We met our spouse at a religious retreat.  Now that we’re swingers, we want to have sex with other couples, but how do we meet them?  It’s challenging.  Of course, the internet is a great way, but it lacks the face-to-face.  That’s why we attend swinger events.  But most of the swinger events are designed as a continuation of the night-club scene of which we were never a part.  At best, the swinger events are at mid-quality venues. At worst: a dive-joint.  The music is so loud that it’s impossible to talk to others; the venues may have restrictions on sexual activities, the lighting is dark, and the fog machine makes it a challenge to breathe.  For some, this is sexy, but if it is, it is only so because it is reminiscent of a time gone by.  If we’re honest with ourselves, this is not the assured segue to an orgy.  How about something with better lighting, quiet but sexy background music, clean, and no restrictions on consensual sexual activity?  I’ve been to tons of swinger parties, but never been to one like that that I didn’t host.  To be fair, I have had a couple of people come to a party that I hosted and complain that the music wasn’t loud enough and that too many lights were on, but by that point, they were drunk and no longer sexy to anyone; they just enjoyed the allure of foreplay that is a nightclub.  If couples are really looking to make an intimate connection so they can engage in all the fun and pleasures that swinging can offer, then the events need to mature and be conducive to swinging.

5 comments:

  1. I don't drink being in a loud and obnoxious place really isn't a turn on. I like talking and engaging in some form of conversation. It's good to at least know their name. :)

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  3. Wow, I'm not even sure where to begin. Frankly, I'm "astonished beyond all measure" (Alma 31:19) at this blog. After hearing a rumor from a brother-in-law that there are LDS swingers, I did a search and surfed by to see, in fact, if it was true. I see now that it's not true at all. Granted, the make-believe characters in this blog ("Joe" and "Kristy/Christy", spelled both ways in here in this blog, LOL) may be self-proclaimed swingers, but they are certainly not Latter-Day Saints. Oh sure, they may have been baptized, and they may even attend their church meetings, etc., but their actions are way out of line. This whole blog is all a bunch of mediocre fiction writing -- two-bit erotica that reads like a cheap Harlequin dime novel. I have to admit, however, that the blog post about adultery, that swapping partners with consent is not adultery because of some book that a pastor wrote and because of an ancient Greek word in the Bible and because you're not breaking the bond, and it's all about the intent, etc., etc., was truly fascinating. That one blog post put every alchemist, ancient and modern, to shame as it turned a big old lump of lead into a sparkling nugget of pure gold. AMAZING!! Also, the notion that morality is genetic?!? Wow! I wish I had the time to write how blatantly wrong all of this is. You two are living a lie, and you both know it. Plain and simple, this is adultery. You can split all the hairs you want or play whatever kind of semantic word game with ancient Greek or Hebrew words that you like, but you'll never get away from the simple fact that you're both tangled up in a sticky web of lies. Wow, I guess it's true that even the very elect will deceived. So let me get this straight -- it's all about the intent -- having sex with someone you aren't married to isn't a sin and it isn't wrong because you're in the same room with your wife while you're having sex with someone you aren't married to, but if you were to do that without your husband or wife knowing about it, then it would be sick and wrong and disgusting, but maybe not even then because you're intent is good....how twisted is all that?!?!? It's like saying that assisted suicide isn't murder because the intentions are good, right?? Look, we are ALL sinners, myself included, and we all have our things to work on, but for crying out loud, don't be so clueless as to think that this is all ok, because it isn't -- you know it, and you know that God knows it. Don't justify yourself in committing a little sin -- you two are smarter than that. Consider this a shout out from a fellow member of the LDS church (if, in fact, you truly are members of the LDS church) to stand up, straighten out, and fly right. Go read and memorize Isaiah 5:20, and come back and report on it. Then read and study your scriptures for a while and prayerfully ask a loving Heavenly Father if what you're doing is sanctioned by Him, etc. "Joe" and "Kristy/Christy", you guys need to get a clue, and here's a hint -- you're not going to find it in some strip club or a sex club.

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