Sunday, June 10, 2018

Joe is Jealous!


This is Christy. Joe is jealous, and we both love it!

A couple of weeks ago I went to a conference for work. Joe came with me. The keynote speaker, Conner, was someone who I admired and who I’d heard speak before. He’s an author and professional speaker. He’s an expert in his field, and he speaks well about interpersonal relationships. We sat in the audience hoping that I may get a chance to talk to him during the weekend. 

After his first lecture, I made it a point to try to talk to him. I introduced myself to him, and he actually knew who I was from my work. We talked for a long time. Joe joined in the conversation. The next day, Conner asked to sit with me and Joe at dinner. We talked for a while. Joe went to the restroom, and Conner and I moved outside to the lawn to keep talking. We sat close to each other on a bench. I shared my experience with my faith transition. I learned that he was non monogamous. (I actually knew that before talking to him.) I told him that Joe and I had a “flexible” marriage. Joe found us and encouraged us to keep talking. Joe sat a ways off to allow Conner and I to talk in private. 

After a while, Conner and I walked to Joe, and I told him that Conner and I were going to go to his hotel room to have sex and that Joe was invited. Joe was very happy for me. Joe assured both me and Conner that he’d be happiest letting me having my alone time with Conner. 

We went up to Conner’s room and got undressed. He was a complete gentleman. Having had all those pre-conversations really let me know that I’d be comfortable, and I really was. 

He explained his STD testing history. He had recent papers. He explained that he always plays with protection including for oral sex. He even uses gloves if fingering a woman. He was very sweet and almost professional in his concern. It was really nice. 

He asked if he could kiss me head to toe. Then he did. He then turned me over and did it all again. So nice. I then asked him what he’s like me to do to him. He asked if I’d kiss him head to toe also, so I did. 

He then got a condom on, and I gave him oral sex. We then had sex in at least three positions I could remember: cowgirl, missionary, and him sitting up. I came at least four times. It was so hot and sensual. He had previously told me that he doesn’t cum often during sex due to a medication he takes, so I shouldn’t be concerned if he doesn’t. But he did! He came. I felt pretty good about that. 

We got dressed and took the elevator back down to the lobby to see Joe smiling. We’d been gone an hour.

Joe, Connor and I talked for a while. Joe joked that he was going to “take a swing” at Conner when we came back to the lobby while yelling “how dare you fuck my wife!”, but he didn’t know Conner well enough to ensure that he’d know he was joking. Joe told Conner that on a scale of 0-10, he felt jealousy of a “1”. It was the first time that Joe has EVER felt jealousy toward me. Joe said that he actually liked the feeling because it allowed him to understand how I often feel. Joe told Conner that it was more like “envy” because he was envious that I was able to have a new experience. I was very pleased with the experience. 

Since coming home from the conference, Conner has been texting me frequently. I really enjoy it. Joe is VERY attractive and I love his body and mind. Conner doesn’t hold a candle to Joe’s physique or intelligence, but Conner is very articulate and sensitive. It’s been very flattering that he’s taken a liking to me. He lives in LA and has invited me/us to come visit him. Joe says that I can go whenever I’d like. (Given that Joe’s going to go play with his GF, that’s only fair.)

I love Joe so much. I love our marriage. I love that Joe understands me. He loves that he’s able to experience a new feeling. Maybe he’ll write about it from his perspective. 

Monday, April 9, 2018

Sex in Paris and Beyond


We’re in Amsterdam! Christy has been in Noisy-le-Sec just outside of Paris for the past three weeks doing training for her company. I was able to fly over for a long weekend, so we snuck away on a train to Amsterdam to get into mischief. (We told her coworkers that we’re visiting my old missionary companion in Rotterdam. Shhhh. I don’t have an old mission companion in Rotterdam.)

We arrived at the train station and made our way to the hotel which was right across from the station. I’d overcome (for the most part) much of the jet lag since I’d slept on the plane and train. It was late afternoon on Friday at this point. We unpacked our few things, got changed, and then caught an Uber to take us to a sex club called Fun4Two. It’s actually closer to Rotterdam. It was about a 50-minute ride there. We got there at about 10:30 pm. It’s a huge mansion that appear to have been totally gutted in 1995 and rebuilt into a sex club. The front of the house has windows that you can see into and it looks like the quarters for the on-site manager. The side entrance is the main entrance to the club. We went in, paid the fee, got the orientation speech, and were directed upstairs to the lockers. There were probably about 100 other people there also changing into their outfit for the evening. Women were changing into the sexiest of lingerie or going topless and the men were getting down to their briefs. Most people kept shoes or sandals on. I didn’t come prepared, so I went barefoot. Christy had a couple of options: sexy bra and crotchless panties, or a negligee set. Both were smoking hot! We were nervous because it was new and busy and everyone else seemed to know the system. We heard a few people speaking English, most with a British accent, everyone else was speaking languages we didn’t understand, but we’re pretty sure we parsed out at least 5 different foreign languages. The average age was probably about 40. A few younger, an few older. 95% of the people were very sexy. It was by far, the sexiest group of swingers we’d ever seen. Only the White Party in Vegas was comparable in the degree of hotness. 

Downstairs was the main bar and dance floor. Drinks and food are included in the price. They had a buffet dinner. We’ve seen food in strip clubs and sex clubs before. This food was good. Really good! The whole place was amazing. You’ve got to look up the website. It had three floors, balconies, a chandelier, crawl spaces, a very swanky indoor pool, at least two bars, a tunnel into a tantra section with multiple levels, lots of narrow staircases that go to all sorts of dark sexy places. There was a red-light district recreated neighborhood, and you could go inside all the “buildings” to play. The whole place was crawling with sexiness. It was like a fun-house/play-ground version of Eyes Wide Shut. (The staircases would never have passed code in the US.)

The downside was that it was hard to meet people, which really may be our deficit rather than the club’s. After exploring every corner of the club, we decided to go into the room with the GYN-like chair. Christy climbed up on it and laid back. I took her panties off and fingered her until she came a few times. A vibrator hung from the ceiling which I used on her too. I fucked her with my cock for a minute also, then I slid down to sit on the built-in stool with a back support that made it VERY comfortable for me to give her oral sex. The position was perfect for both of us. I could have “dined” there for an hour! The room had peep-holes, so people were able to see in, but we couldn’t see them well enough. (Christy likes to be watched.) So we moved out to the balcony looking over the dance floor. The large crystal chandelier hung in front of us. She leaned against the balcony and I fucked her pussy from behind for all to see. It didn’t take long for me to cum. We then cleaned up and were headed to the locker room when she decided that she wanted to get done a few more times. She got her vibrator out of the locker and we found a couch in a high-traffic area, I sat by her side, fingered her and used the vibrator on her until she came hard over and over. Once she was well satisfied, we returned to the locker room, got dressed, chatted with another couple who were Americans living in Germany, then we took a Taxi back to Amsterdam.

We slept in the next day. Obviously. We got up and explored the Red Light District. Prostitution is legal. The women stand behind a glass door and if you want to have sex with them, you approach the door. She opens the door and you discuss the prices and the details about what you want her to do. Before doing anything like that, we went to see a sex show. We paid 40 Euro each to go into a little theater with a little stage. Porn was playing on a projection TV. The curtains closed, then when they opened, a reasonable attractive woman was on the stage. She stripped to music then used a vibrator on herself. It was moderately arousing, but very obvious that she was acting the part. She was a good actor, but we all knew that she was faking (just like in porn.) The curtains closed then opened to a couple: male and female. He was built. She was less attractive. They had foreplay and then had sex: missionary position, then doggy style. He didn’t cum. The curtains closed. The curtains then opened to a woman who stripped to music and reveled a string of beads in her pussy. She pulled them out playfully. It was erotic, but less so that what you’d see in porn. The whole show was like watching grade B- porn in real life. 

We then walked the streets and the alleys looking in the windows at the women. Christy allowed me to hire one. (I’d read about what to expect for prices.) Many of the women were smokers and their skin reflected it, even though most didn’t look to be over 35 years of age. Even the younger ones look aged due to a “rough life”. We walked the length of the street then I decided on the woman in the pink outfit. We walked back to her, I gestured to her, she opened the door. I asked, “How much?” She said “50 for blow job.” I said, “How much for sex?” She said “100 Euro.” I declined and we walked away. All the websites said to expect to pay 50 for a blow job OR sex. 100 for both. Christy told me that I could have paid the 100, but I said that I thought it was too much.  

The next day was Sunday. I was regretting not having sex with a prostitute. Christy said that we could go back. I told her that I really wanted her to pick out the woman and that I wanted her to decide if she wanted to come in with me or not. She said that she was fine not coming in. I wanted HER to decide what made her feel the best. We walked the length of the windows. Many of the women from the previous day weren’t out, and there were some new ones. We walked past a couple of windows and a woman behind one aggreesivily and eagerly called out to us. We walked past a few more windows, then  we both new that we wanted to go back to that aggressive woman. She was sexy! She looked to be about 35, wearing a green scantily-clad swimsuit. She opened the door and she asked if it was for just me or both of us. Christy said that it was for both of us. (She whispered to me that she was cold and that was a driving reason for going in with me. The other was because she was turned on. If it wasn’t so cold, I think she would have waited outside. I’m glad she came in. The woman said her name was Tatiana. She said $100 for basic and includes blow job. She said 150 for the both of us, but the women only touch each other. No oral. We agreed. She lead us up the stairs and warned us about the low ceiling on the stairs to not hit our head. Each woman has a glass door facing the street and a back bedroom either on the ground floor or a floor above. The “bed” in her room was vinyl with a polished wooden ledge that was about six-inches wide, and it had a roll of paper on it from the wall like on the tables from the doctor’s office. There was also a bidet in the room. It was dark and nicely decorated. There was a curtain to a back area that was likely where the toilet was and may have been an access to the other women’s rooms. She told us that we pay first. I handed her 150 Euro and said, this is for sex also, right? She said that sex would be an additional 50 Euro. She said it Kindly and even though it didn’t make sense and didn’t really jive with what we understood downstairs, I handed over another 50 euro. She was happy. We wanted a happy hooker. She told us to take off our clothes and hang them on the hooks on the wall. We did. She took off her bottoms and pulled her bikini top to the sides so that her breasts were fully exposed. She said, “First blow job. Lay down.” I did. She said, “First we put on condom.” You can imagine a sexy stern Romanian accent. She had long brown hair and an perfect porn star body. I wasn’t yet fully erect, yet she was able to easily get a condom on me and suck me hard. She was careful (for her protection) to ensure that her mouth only made contact with the condom. Christy stood next to the bed naked while I fingered her while I was getting the blow job. Christy was moaning. I then said to Tatiana, “Can we have sex now?” (I think I’d only been getting a blow job for about 90 seconds.) She said, “Of course. You want doggy style.” I said, “Can we do it with you laying down?” I wasn’t sure if “missionary position” was universally understood. She said, “Regular? Ya!” She laid down on the paper, she used her fingers to open her vulva and I gently thrusted into her. I got my face down next to hers and I started rhythmically thrusting into her. I knew that prostitutes don’t allow kissing, so I didn’t get my mouth near hers. I also didn’t now if I was allowed to suck her tits, so I didn’t try. I kept pounding harder and harder. (Christy likes it very hard, and I’m sure that a prostitute is accustomed to being fucked VERY hard, but I didn’t want to be abusive, so I didn’t go as hard as I would have liked. Tatiana moaned a few times in the right way and the right times, but logically I knew she had to be faking it. But she faked it well. Christy played with her tits and Tatiana played with Christy’s tits as Christy knelt on the bed next to us. Christy commented on how perfect her tits were. I got close to cuming a few times, but after the third near-miss, I asked her if I could fuck my wife. (I think that we screwed for about 3 minutes. Christy said that it was 5 minutes.) She said of course. Christy and Tatiana changed places. I pulled the condom off and entered Christy. Cristy and Tatiana played with each others boobs, I pounded Christy and came in about a minute. My grunts made it clear to all that I was satisfied. I knew that Christy was satisfied also. Tatiana yelled “Bingo! Everyone happy?” I said, “Yes, very happy.” We got up and got dressed. Christy then complemented her on her body and asked where she was from. She said Romania which matched her accent. She said that she was married and has two children. Christy told her that she looked great for having had two children. Tatiana asked Christy, “So you don’t get jealous when your husband having sex with another woman?” Christy smiled and said, “Nope!” Tatiana said, “Even though I do this, if my husband with another woman it would make me jealous. I no could do it.” We got dressed and I said, “Thank you. It was very good,” even though I’ve had MUCH better sexual experiences with women that I didn’t pay for sex. (This was the first time that I’ve ever paid for sex. Christy has done it three times in the past in Vegas. I was present for all of those experiences, but I just watched. This was probably the least expensive. We’re not good at negotiating in these situations.) Tatiana reminded us to watch our heads on the way down the narrow stairs. We walked out the door as people watched us. They all knew what we’d done. We smiled and were happy that they all knew it.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

First REAL Date


Joe here. I think I’ve taken over permanently as the voice of this blog. I know that a lot of the male readers won’t like that. They want to hear Christy’s sultry “voice”, but alas, it’s me now. I’ll try to be balanced in my reporting. But since this experience is mine, you get to hear from me now.

I went on a date today. It was a real date--the first date with a woman since Christy and I were married. If you look over the past year, you’ll see times when I’ve gone and had sex with women alone, but I wouldn’t call those dates. In those other situations, those were planned sex experiences where the woman and I had texted A LOT in advance and it was VERY clear what would happen. This date today was picking a woman up at her door, taking her out to eat at a restaurant, and not being sure that we’d have sex afterward. I was nervous! What should I wear? Do I have chapstick? (I also wanted to try to have an actual get-to-know-you conversation. I didn't want to just conform myself to her desires to get into her pants. I wanted to say, "This is me. If you don't like me, then let's not pursue this." I wanted to actually have someone see me for who I am. This means that I've had to work on figuring out who I am.)

Let me back up and tell you that I’ve already had sex with this woman. We had sex at a party many months ago after meeting each other 15 minutes prior and exchanging two sentences. It was awesome sex. See the entry from Nov 2017. It's Bambi. Then, a month after that, Christy and I went out to dinner with her and her husband.

Since then, I’d tried to arrange for another opportunity to be with Bambi, but it just didn’t happen. Her menses, their travel, and other excuses kept coming up. I probably should have seen the clues that this woman wasn’t really into me. I then said on Wednesday, “Want to go out this Saturday or Sunday?” I figured that would give her a 48-hour window to choose from. On Thursday she said she couldn’t on Saturday but she’d ask her husband about Sunday. I heard nothing. Then on Saturday night when she texted and said, “I can’t on Sunday.” I thought, "Great, you tell me the night before that you can’t go out tomorrow? OK, we’re done. I’ve wasted too much time caring." She then says, “Some other time?” I’m thinking, "Seriously, I’m going to keep doing this?" But I'm a guy, so I say, “How about Tuesday at lunch?” She says yes. I say “11 am. . . “

Tuesday comes. At 9 am she texts to tell me that the school called to say that her son is sick and that she needs to go pick him up. OK. I’m done. Really done. I say, “No problem. That’s life.” And I’m ready to delete all record of her. Wouldn’t you at this point? I mean, come on!

Five minutes later she replies with a picture of her and her son in the car. (I zoomed in to see if I could tell if it’s a doctored photo. Is that her current hair color or is that an old photo?) Then she texts me to tell me that her husband offered to come home from work to watch their son so that she could go out with me. Holy Smokes! Yes! What an awesome husband. What other husband would leave work to come home and sit with their sick son so that his wife could go out with a guy? He deserves the Man-of-the-Year Award.

I went over and picked her up. Because her husband only had a couple of hours free, we didn’t have time for both sex and lunch. Being a gentleman, I said, “Let’s have lunch”. I think I made the right choice. I actually did want to get to know her better. I also wanted to show her that I'm more interested in her than just for sex. We had a nice lunch and we talked all about our interest in non-monogamy, our relationship rules, and our desires. It was a great conversation. I've never been so direct and bold and genuine with a woman whom I barely knew.

Afterward I came home, and Christy asked me “How many times did you orgasm.” I said “Zero. We didn’t have sex.” She said, "Wait, what?!! Why?"



Christy and I then had one of the best conversations we’ve ever had. I did most of the talking. I told her all the things that Bambi and I talked about on our date and how I put Christy’s desires first. I made it very clear to Bambi what the situation would be and how to go forward. I knew that I could be torpedoing the relationship, but the more I talked and the more concrete I was, the more Bambi agreed with me. It felt like the start of something wonderful. This situation has the possibility of being a very good one. It’s going to be a question of how much time we are all willing to commit to the relationships. But let's cross our fingers that we can make the six relationships work: M1F1, M1F2, M2F1, M2F2, F1F2, M1M2. In a simple monogamous relationship there's only one relationship: M1F1. When you have four people, there are six relationships. The odds that they'll ALL be good is SO unlikely and will require a LOT of work. 


Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Secret is Safe

So far, no one (other than one person a couple of years ago) has determined our true identity. Looks like all the back-doors are locked down.

We've been quiet for the past 6 weeks because we took a break from non-monogamy. We wanted to focus on family and each other for the holidays. We'll get back to the swing of things soon enough.

Press forward slutty saints!

Monday, December 25, 2017

Would you like to play a game?



First, I don’t want to be publicly outer/exposed. No doxxing me. OK?

Here’s the game. See if you can figure out who I really am. This isn’t a “guessing game.” You can’t just randomly guess; you need to see if you can use your sleuthing, blood-hound skills to determine of there are internet crumbs that lead you to discover my identity. 

If you’ve found a path to discovering who I am, email me at ChristyBA75@gmail.com and tell me (1) who I am, and (2) how you discovered it.

A couple of years ago there was a glitch in an app that linked two accounts that I had: one with my name as Christy and one with my real name. Someone figured it out and emailed me. Thankfully he didn’t publicly out me. (Thanks again if you’re reading this.) He knows my real name. He’s assured me that he hasn’t and won’t disclose it publicly, and I appreciate that. Within an hour of him notifying me, I deleted the accounts from that app and deleted the app, but I'm curious if there are other clues out there.

Under my real name, I MAY start coming out of the closet, but I doubt that I’ll ever associate my real name with my pseudonym. What you may discover over the next few years is that I post here a bit less and that “someone else” starts posting things elsewhere on the internet about their sexual adventures. Also, I’m getting busier with other things, so I’ll be turning over much of the story-telling to my husband, "Joe". He is just as verbose as me and is even more techie.


So, if you’re up for a sleuthing challenge, come find me!  (Just please don’t post how you found me. If you find a good bread-crumb trail, you won’t need me to confirm the truth. You’ll know it. But if you do find an accurate path and you know the truth and email me the info, I will confirm it for you as long as you can make me feel assured that you’ll keep the info private.)

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Coming Out to You All?

We’re getting close to coming out of the closet and into the open. As the years go on and as our kids grow and as our church status changes, we have less to lose. Be coming out, we can be more genuine and say what’s on our minds in real life, not just on the internet.

Of course, there are still fears. The biggest one is that something bad may happen as a result of us coming out that we didn’t anticipate: one of us gets fired from our job because our boss learns the truth (very unlikely that he’d care), or that we’ll lose more friends than we thought, or that we lose the mystique of being anonymous, or that our kids resent us (though we're pretty sure they already know what's up with us).

What do you think? Should we come out and say who we are? Why or why not? We'd really like to hear your thoughts.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Party at home - And Bambi

Joe here. 

Every word of this is true, other than the names. 


We had a party here last night with about 40 people. We had met about 16 of them before. The rest were new to us, but we’d seen photos of them (or at least much of their bodies) online. They all knew what kind of party this was, so they came with the same general intentions. Most people don’t look as good as their online pictures, but some look better. Bambi was one of those. We found Mark and Bambi on Feeld, a swinger app. We’d been chatting with them for almost a year and never seemed to be able to meet up with them. I got the feeling that we were more interested in them than they were in us. A few weeks ago, they RSVPd to our party, and then a few days ago they warned us that they probably weren’t going to make it. No surprise. Oh well. Then just a few hours before the party he texted to tell us that they would come. The guests arrived at the appointed hour.  When Mark and Bambi arrived, wow! He was suave and she was tall drop-dead gorgeous. She looked like 35 year-old Maggie Gyllenhaal, but absolutely stunningly gorgeous. She looked like she’s have a French accent, and I was surprised that she didn’t, yet she was eloquent and brought the room to silence upon their entrance. She acted as if she didn’t know how good looking she was. 

After welcoming all the guests and everyone introduced themselves, the event got started. It wasn’t more than two minutes before Bambi approached me and asked if she could kiss me. I was stunned, but quickly said, “Of course” and we stood there making out for a minute. She thanked me and moved on. 15 minutes later, her dress was off and she was walking around in black high heels and a tight black lace swimsuit-like outfit. It was VERY see-through and laced down the front. She approached me again and asked if I’d like to lick her nipples. Of course I said yes, then she asked if she could give me a blow job. She took my hand and walked me to a couch. I admitted to her that I wasn’t quite “ready”. She offered to wait and come back to me, but I didn’t want to miss my chance with her. I sat down on the couch and before I could get my pants down to my knees, I was good and ready. Oh she was good at it. She knew all the classic BJ moves. She didn’t miss a thing. It was only about two minutes, but it was awesome! She then moved on to elsewhere in the party.

By this time, most everyone at the party was either naked or just down to their undies. My wife was in an adjacent room getting fucked. I walked in and she was climbing on her second guy and having a great time. So I went back to see what Bambi was doing. I saw her and another attractive woman, Rebecca , kneeling side-by-side giving Steve a blow job. Steve’s wife, Amy, was behind Bambi rubbing up on Bambi and Rebecca. I sat in a chair close by watching and hoping that if Bambi looked around for something to do next that she’s pick me again. But I didn’t want to appear to eager. I didn’t want her to be creeped out by me being a stalker, so I just sat back. Bambi, Rebecca and Amy were all kneeling on the floor naked and were making out and fingering one another. It was so tempting to want to reach in. Some women are open to having someone just join in, some women aren’t. I, and most men, are’t good at reading signs, so it’s best for us to wait for an explicit invitation. 

Bambi laid back on the floor with her head right next to my chair. Amy was going down on her licking Bambi’s pussy. Bambi was moaning with delight. When he eyes opened, she saw me and reached up to me. Her hand went to my knee and then to my crotch. I took that as an invitation to kneel down and kiss her. I then sucked on her tits and she pulled down my boxers and gave me a blow job while Amy licked her clit. Bambi then whispered, “fuck me”.

Oh yes!

Bambi told Amy, “He’s going to fuck me”. That was Bambi’s nice way of telling Amy that she needed to move aside. I grabbed a condom and put it on so fast, and thrust inside her. Oh yes! I kissed her and told her that she was beautiful and gorgeous. I said her name out loud. (I read somewhere that women like that. I hope it’s generally true.) I’m 99% confident that she was having orgasms. I could have taken my time to tease and play with her and build up over the next few minutes to hours, but I didn’t know if I’d get another chance with her. And I knew that I wasn’t saving myself for anyone else that evening, so I let it all go. I came hard, and I pounded in her. And she came hard. It was AMAZING! 

Once we both started coming down, I backed out and smiled at her and thanked her by name. I said, “I hope I didn’t give you too bad a rug burn.” She said, “Not too bad.” I helped her up, then grabbed a tissue to remove the condom and deposit it into a trash can. I put my shorts back on and got something to rehydrate me. A perm-grin was on my face for a long time after that. 

I didn’t hover over her for the rest of the evening, but I did pass her frequently and smiled at her. I talked with her husband a couple of times for a while about our professional lives, and I conversed with her about her life. From what I noticed, she only had sex with me and her husband that night. If she did have sex with someone else, I’m sure it wasn’t with anyone before me.

After the party, I texted Mark and thanked them for coming and told them that we wanted to meet up with them again. He said that they’d like that also. I need to be careful that I don’t get stalker-is. I fear that I have a tendency to do that. But I also want them to know that we’re really into them. 


Oh, also at the end of the party, I also had sex with Brandy. (See previous entries if you don’t know who Brandy is.) And if you think that the names Brandy and Bambi are too similar or too stripper-like, just know that we pick pseudonyms that are related to their real names—makes it easier for us to keep track.

I just realized that I didn’t mention that I drove to Brandy’s place two weeks ago, had dinner with her and her husband and their kids (weird). Then Brandy and I went to a hotel room (with our spouses’ knowledge and consent) and Brandy and I had sex for a few hours. I came twice. Then I drove her back home. The sex was good. Brandy things we have great chemistry. I’m not so sure. She’s really into me. My wife is jealous about the whole thing and doesn’t really like it, but doesn’t know why. Brandy tells me that I’m very attractive. I don’t see it, and it almost makes me uncomfortable. She stares at me very seductively (or maybe a bit stalker-ish.) 


Tonight I told my wife that I had sex with Brandy at the end of the party. She didn’t know that. That made my wife jealous. She doesn’t know why. She says that I didn’t do anything wrong. Brandy wasn’t off limits at the party. My wife said that she should have been jealous of me having sex with Bambi since Bambi is movie-star gorgeous, but my wife wasn’t jealous of that. Christy couldn’t explain the reasons for the disparity in the jealousy, and I’ve learned to not push her to find reasons for her feelings. 

Time for bed.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Truth

This is Joe.

I’m being a bit raw and open here. Meaning that I’m admitting things that I don’t think are flattering of me. As I age, I’m trying/wanting to be more genuine. As the facade of the old LDS me drops away, I’m trying to discover who I really am and who I want to be as a person. I rarely like the real me that it’s in the mirror. My wife tells me that she wants the truth, but I don’t know if I want the truth.

The truth is that she fulfills the majority of my desires from any one person, but she doesn’t fulfill all. No one person possible could. However she was raised to (falsely) believe that a wife should be EVERYTHING to her husband and that he should want for nothing from anyone else. She now rationally knows that this is not possible and is a burden that she should have never believed in, but she’s having a hard time breaking herself of that notion, and when she falls back into old ways of thinking she resumes feeling like a failure if I want to have sex with other women. And I do want to have sex with other women. In the last few months, she’s let me have sex with three different women without her being present. And we’re all doing great! (One was with the woman’s husband present.) Christy has told me that I can go have sex with that woman again. That woman invited me to have sex with her next week without her husband present. I checked with her husband and he’s great with it. 


The other challenge is that Christy has a minor disability that occasionally keeps her from being as physically active as she wants to be. It can interfere at unpredictable times. In the past, I felt like she was sometimes using it as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable situations, and I feel bad for thinking that. (I can’t think of any examples of that happening so it’s probably not true, just my perception.) We were supposed to do something sexy last weekend, but her health got in the way. My challenge has been/is that I not be a mopey sack when that happens. I need to believe that she’s really trying to do her best and that she’s not using it as an excuse. When I mope, she then quietly gets mad and is less willing to accommodate me. We then get into a viscous cycle of digging in. I need to assume she’s doing her best, and I need to accept what she does.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Best Party Ever!! (Ever)

Joe here.

It’s so temping to come out of the closet . . . but not yet. 

What an amazing party last night! 50 people in an amazing hotel suite! Everyone was having a great time. Love and life was flowing. Everyone was kind and generous and fucking (amazing)! Christy had sex with three different guys plus me, plus a guy who tried but could get hard again fast enough after finishing with someone else. All the guys wanted to fuck Christy. She was the life of the party! (That’s my observation.) So many nice hot people. One couple brought two vanilla couples who just watched and who tried not to be scared. Everyone was nice to them. Christy helped a newbie couple come out of their shell and had some play time with them in a threesome to let them experience some things they’d never done before. It was almost like watching a therapy session for a couple who was already doing great! I had sex with two women in addition to Christy, and I got tons of blow jobs and made out with a lot of women and sucked a bunch of tits and got mine licked too. It was an incredible evening!


The best were the complements from the attendees! They were so complementary to us! There were a couple of “celebrity” swinger couples there who had been on Playboy TV—one of whom are considered to be the king and queen (in our opinion) of swingers—totally hot and awesome couple! They said and wrote some of the nicest things to us about the experience. It put us on top of the world 

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

This is a hodgepodge of thought during a visit by Brittany to our home. Written all by Joe.

----

I need to write a bit about what love is, and I need to do it while I’m thinking like this.

Christy is letting me have sex with another woman staying in our home. This woman is really into sex and and is attracted to me. She likes having sex. She is a nice, caring person. She is reasonable attractive. She has many good qualities. I am attracted to her.

But what I feel for Christy is 10,000x more. Christy is so much more to me. And I feel that. I really feel that. If I were to list all the reasons why I love Christy, I could list tons, but it still wouldn’t explain on paper what she is to me. I actually feel something very powerful toward her. I wish I could be analytical and explain what that is, but I can’t. I could try, and I’d be able to explain part of it. I could explain all the ties we have to each other, but that wouldn’t suffice. The feeling is powerful and I wish I could elucidate on it; however it’s a feeling, and I’m not good at describing feelings. That’s why I need to write this now. I want to write this in the moments that I’m feeling it so strong. I want to remember what this is like. I want to never forget this feeling. Christy is everything to me. She is perfect even when she’s not. Even in saying that, it’s descriptive and fails to explain that I mean. I just need to say that this is what love is. What I feel now is true love.


My wife and I have been swingers for the last five years. Mostly it's same-room full swap. Occasionally we've each been on a couple of solo dates. I have zero jealousy. She has some jealousy. She knows that it's not rational jealousy, and we both know (more or less) what triggers her jealousy.

I know (for the most part) what upsets her. For example, I need to not go have sex with a woman without clearing it with her first. She doesn't want me to get heavily emotionally involved with another woman via text/chat. Yesterday I said, "I appreciate that you've allowed me the privacy of not looking at my phone." She said, "Is there something on there I should see?" I said, "no." She said, "Good, because I really don't want to know." -- I do fear that if she read my phone, she might think that I've crossed her line a few times by getting too close to other women. But in general, my wife takes the approach of saying, "Don't cross the line, but if you do, I don't want to know. You haven't crossed the line have you? No? Good, but I don't want to know if you have, but I hope you haven't."

Personally I don't think it's a good idea for someone to willfully choose to be ignorant, but that's what's she wants to be. To some degree, I understand because she does have momentary flights of jealousy, so she doesn't see a reason to open herself to be triggered. Also, the "lines" aren't very well defined in some cases. Getting "too close" emotionally may mean something different to her than to me. What I may think is ok may set her off, so we agree to keep her out of the loop on some things.
The problem I'm having with all this is that I fear that one day she will reverse her decision to read/see everything, and then she'll decide that I've been crossing her line for all this time. The only way for me to know that I'm in safe territory is to show her now, but she doesn't want to see.

When I want to address specifics, she tells me that I'm too OCD and that I'm trying to address every possible scenario, which she says is impossible to predict. She just says, use common sense.

Next morning…

We had a good, long talk. We defined poly for us. She understood. I explained that I want her to always fill 95% of my desires, and that others will likely not fill more than 5%. I explained that her remaining ignorant wasn't helpful to me, that I need her to let me know when her desires aren't being met. I think things are good.

I do develop feelings to some degree for the person I'm sleeping with. I think I am poly by nature. My wife does say, "be loving to me", "be present", "spend time", but she also says, "don't text too much". Those are all pretty vague and she is a pleaser, so she doesn't complain until I've gotten really far off tract. She still has ownership mentality a bit, but that’s rooted in our religious upbringing. I have it too, but I’m trying to let go of it and I think that scares her that I’m willing to let go of ownership of her. I try to be supportive of helping her work out her own issues about this without making her feel like she has a problem that needs to be fixed.


Brittany is coming to visit for 3 days. She’ll be here in two hours. Christy is nervous and is cleaning the house. She is accepting but worried. She isn't upset but is quiet. We've talked it all out before. Right now we're quiet. She says that she's "fine". -- I've told Brittany that we can't have sex in the master bed, but everywhere else is fine. Christy doesn't want to see our PDA.

Later first night.

We're all back at our house now. Brittany is in the shower. Christy is headed to bed. Christy said, "Go have fun." I'm waiting for Brittany to get out of the shower, then we'll play. So far so good. (We all went to dinner and had small talk. Christy and Brittany like each other.)

Next morning

Brittany and I had sex in her bed (guest room), then I went back to Christy in the master bedroom and she asked for sex also. Which I happily accommodated. All seems to be OK. We're all up this morning and going to a park together. Christy says she's fine. She's a bit quiet, but says she's fine.

That afternoon

Brittany and I have had sex twice in the guest room since arriving. Once per day. Christy and I have had sex twice also. Christy SEES that I pick her over Brittany, but Christy still feels irrationally threatened. I think that if she could TALK to Brittany about this fear, that she'd work through it, but Christy won't tackle it head on.

Maybe I'm doing "poly" wrong. I don't understand or like the idea of keeping everyone separate.
Am I supposed to say to my wife, "I'm going out. I'll be back in a day or two." That won't fly with her or me. And we're not publicly out of the closet (yet). So no holding hands in public with another woman. Seems best if everyone knows everyone else and all is on the table, rather than living separate relationships. Or maybe I don't understand what poly is?

I posted a question on an online forum about jealousy in this situation, and someone wrote back, “If what she needs right now is to put her head down and avoid conflict while your girlfriend is here, then let her.”
That's exactly what I've told her. I've told her that if she wants to not talk now, that's completely fine. I've also said that I hope that she'll talk to me about her feelings afterward. I've said that if she's NEVER going to be able to talk about her feelings about this visit, then that's not going to work for me, and then I'll need to give up on polyamory. 


The visit concluded well. I had sex with Brittany once each day and kissed her and was affectionate to hr a few times each day. I spent a lot of time with Christy having sex and having our usual marriage intimacy conversations and holding and kissing her. The three of us went out a lot during the visit.

For the final play session, I invited Christy to join me and Brittany. She tried, but she was feeling jealousy, so she calmly pulled back from the situation. I sensed it, and it was fine. Brittany had a good orgasm. I didn’t. Later that night, Christy and I played alone and had a great time.


In all, it was a learning experience, and I think everyone had a good time.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Joe's Weekend at Home - Two Women - Two Nights

Joe time!

Big couple of weeks coming up! This weekend, Brittany is coming for a visit. She’ll be staying a few days. I hope to have sex with her at least once a day while she’s here. Christy and Brittany seem to both get along well and respect each other. Christy still is worried about jealousy, and I do my best to reassure her and make her feel like number-one. Brittany is very sensitive to Christy’s needs and doesn’t want to tread where she’s not invited. I’m super turned on by both of them. We’ll likely have a three-some at some point, but neither of them are super bisexual. Christy is bi-comfortable and is turned on by it, but she’s not super attracted to women naturally as much as she once thought she was. Brittany admits that she is primarily heterosexual also. Those are all good things that favor me getting a lot of action.

Also, Christy has a friend named Darcy. (See Dec 31, 2011 when we first met them). She is now divorced. She’s a bit of a downer in general—especially since her divorce. She had come to visit us about a year ago at an event we were having. She was a bit of a pill to be honest. But she likes sex and craves attention. She texted Christy last night and invited her out to dinner tonight. Christy said that she could come over to have dinner with us and let her know that I’d play with her. (I’ll play with her as long as she’s not a super downer. She’s reasonably fit and energetic and a nice person.) So tonight we’ll have her come for dinner and then I’ll probably have sex with her.


Then next weekend, we’re going to another sex party. More to follow on that!

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Joe in MFM Threesome


This is all Joe. The couple we played with last week, Brandy and Justin, I played with them again without Christy last night. She let me go do it. The rule was that I needed to check in with her via text every hour to two. So I did, and I texted her how much I loved her. I met the couple at their hotel room. They showered after traveling. Brandy came out of the shower in a towel.  She dropped the towel. We made out. Her husband came out. We all got naked. Us guys make sure to not bump into each other. We mostly avoided eye contact and tried to not look at each others dicks without making it obvious. We each took turns having sex with Brandy while she took turns giving us blow jobs. It was a standard, fun, traditional threesome. (She let me give her oral sex. She said that she doesn’t like oral sex because she’s too sensitive. She allowed me to go very slowly on her. She came many many times. She told me that I was the best at it. — I actually believe her.) After we all had as many orgasms as we each wanted, we all sat and talked. We talked about this being the first time I’ve done this. We talked about ideas on jealousy and “sperm competition” sexual drive. It was a pretty good experience. We hugged and I went home. Christy was home and I recounted the experience. She wasn’t jealousy at all. She was great. She and I had sex and had a great time.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Solo Play Review - and Our First Full-Swap Couple, Again

We're done.

Done with the experiment. Not the marriage. The marriage is fine. (See how I got you worried? Like a bad movie teaser.) We're OK. On that day, I left him at the hotel room at 10 am. I had told him that I wouldn't text him during the day. I told him that I would like him to come back before falling asleep. I didn't want him sleeping with her. I went to the mall, then a museum, then a park with outdoor art. It started raining, and my mind started worrying and going places. I started to get a bit more jealous that I'd expected. I emailed him at 2 pm that I was back in the hotel room. He didn't reply to my email until 6 pm to tell me this "Saw your email. I worried about you in the rain. She didn't arrive until almost 2 pm. All is well. I love you so incredibly much from the bottom of my heart. You are the most amazing woman in the world. I hope you still love me too."  I was a bit bugged that I'd left the room at 10 am thinking that he was with her immediately after that, but that he was alone in the room for four hours without telling me. My mind continued to go to dark places. At about 7 pm he texted me..

Joe: "How are you? I see that you're still in the hotel room"
Me: "Yes"
Joe: "I'm worried about you."
Me: "Just watching TV. going to sleep."
Joe: "How are you mentally"
Me: "I don't want to talk about it." (He knew I wasn't doing well.)
Joe: "I'm coming back to you very soon". (He later said that this was his way of saying, "I sense a problem so I'm cancelling the rest of the time with Brittany and coming home to save our marriage now.)
Me: "Take your time. I'm fine. Just going to sleep." (I wasn't fine, but he took this as permission to take all the time he wants because i'm going to sleep."
Joe: "I really love you"

At 10:30 pm
Me: "Woke up and see you still aren't here. Trying to go back to sleep. I think our definitions of 'very soon' are different!" (He realized that the experience was over and he hurried back. I’m going to paste in some of what he wrote about the experience.

Joe here. I intentionally didn’t make a lot of plans for that day with Brittany. The more plans we had, the more Christy would want to know and worry about the plans. So no plans = less worry. Once Christy left the hotel room, I called Brittany and said said that she’d be a bit late coming by. (Late turned into almost four hours). She got a hotel room at another hotel. She picked me up in her car. We kissed in the car and she drove us to her hotel. We didn’t get into the room until almost 4 pm. We made out and got hot and heavy, but we put off sex until after we got lunch. She hadn’t eaten. We went down to the hotel bar and got some food and talked for a while. She knew that I’d NEVER done anything like this, and I expressed my anxiety for myself and for my wife. Brittany knows my wife pretty well and very much respects her. She genuinely doesn’t want to hurt our marriage. She said that she is genuinely attracted to me. That was VERY flattering. I’ve never had ANYONE other than my wife express attraction to me in that way. I do not consider myself good looking. We went back up to the room and had sex. It was good and fun. We sat and talked (naked) and had sex again. (I was able to get a second erections, but couldn’t orgasm a second time.) I saw the email from Christy and responded. We then went down to dinner. Dinner took a while— kitchen problems. We walked around the hotel and talked about her life and her boyfriend. (He knows that she and I were meeting. Their relationship was/is strained.) I then texted Christy the 7 pm texts. Brittany and I went back to the hotel room and played again. We used condoms. (He boyfriend has problems with erectile dysfunction. He’s come out as bisexual, and she thinks he may be gay. So the sex with him isn’t as passionate she says. — My wife and I know him. Christy has played with him and can vouch that this is all correct.) Brittany had texted me weeks before about a fantasy she has about me having sex with her and then pulling out and cuming on her chest. So I did. Yes, it was super hot! She is extremely into sex and has a massive libido. I then got the text from Christy at 10:30 and hustled back to our hotel room.

Back in our room, Christy was in the bed in the dark. I slipped in and slipped into bed next to her, gave her a hug and said, “I love you.” She responded with “OK” and not hugging me back. I realized that she was not doing well. She did not want to talk. I took two Benadryl and went to bed. She sent me a long text at midnight that I didn’t see until morning. I’ll just paraphrase it: “I’m not processing this well. I keep imaging what you and she did all day and I worry that you did things that triggered my jealousy. I also feel bad that we didn’t communicate more about the day. I’m glad you did this, but I wish I’d been kept more in the loop and checked in with me.”

Christy here again. That’s all accurate. I was hoping that he’s involve me more in the updates and tell me what was going on. We failed to be that specific in advance. The following day I was a bit quiet. Joe and I did go out and go shopping. Oh, we tried to have sex first that morning. It was “apology sex” on his part. I wasn’t super into it, but I let him do it. He was having a hard time orgasming and then he starting crying during sex because he felt so bad that he couldn’t orgasm with me that morning. He said he felt like he HAD to orgasm to show me that he loved me and that if he didn’t that I’d end our marriage. He was being silly. He put himself under so much pressure that he couldn’t climax. It was fine. We went out shopping and walked around the town. It took all day, but we got back to normal. We talked A LOT about the experience. He was sensitive to not tell me all the hot details. He put my mind at ease. Brittany texted me to see how I was. I convinced her that I was fine after Joe had texted her that I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I would do. By that evening, I really was fine and we both texted Brittany to let her know that all was well. We had planned on going out with her that evening together, but Joe and I decided that we’d just spend the evening with just the two of us. He proved to me that he really does love me and puts me first. Technically he followed the rules that we’d agreed upon. After the experience I discovered that I did need more involvement and that 12 hours was too much for me. It gave my mind too much time to worry. I’m up to doing it again, but let’s start with 2-4 hours next time or have him check in with me every few hours to update me on things.

——

One week later. Look at this post on our blog from 2011. This was the first couple we’d ever had a full-swap with: Brandy and Justin. In the six years since then, they’d joined the military and had a second child. They’d moved a few times with the military, then they got out and are back here. They messaged us asking if we wanted to meet. They kindly said that he were their favorite sex parters. They convinced us that they thought it was true. They were very young the first time 20/21 years old. (Too young for us in retrospect.) We met them for dinner on July 28, 2017. When we saw them in person, they have aged VERY well. Two VERY hot people. (I must say that we have aged well too.) We talked about what we’ve all been doing for the past six years and where life has taken us. He’s a very nice shy, gentle guy. She’s outgoing and smoking sexy! She’s had a very boyfriends over the years and has played solo. After dinner, we went to the hotel room that we’d arranged for. We sat and talked for a while longer—always allowing for the women to take the lead. Men know that they are to not be pushy. That can be frustrating to the women but it balances the risk of being assaulted. At a long pause in the conversation, then a sexy glance, the women quickly jumped on the opposite men. Brandy with Joe and me with Justin. We each took a different bed. The sex was hot and the positions exciting. The passion was perfect. Everybody orgasmed—the women multiple times. It was exactly the kind of experience that swingers desire—in every way. Pure perfection. We all really like each other. — Challenges: we live 70 miles from each other, so frequent outings are a challenge. There is a significant age difference, and they have very little money, so we need to pay every time. None of this is a huge problem, but it doesn’t lend itself to the easiest of maintaining a perfect friendship. 

The next morning (yesterday), they texted and asked if they could meet us again next weekend.Two weekends in a row with the same couple is usually a bit much for us, and I do have other commitments with relatives next weekend. Joe told them that we couldn’t next weekend because I was busy. They then wrote back and asked if Joe could play with them in a MFM threesome. I actually told him that I was fine with that. Joe was surprised that I let him — especially after last weekend. He’s nervous to have the husband there. Joe has no same-sex attraction. He’s not phobic, but it doesn’t appeal to him, and he’s worried about performance why being watched by Justin. But they’re all going to do it. We’ll see how it goes.


######


In full discloser, there’s one thing we should add about the experience with Brandy and Justin. Look back at our post in 2011. We didn’t use condoms with them in 2011, nor with the couple immediately after that in 2011. Since then, we never played again  without condoms—until this past Friday night. Brandy and Justin both pushed on without condoms and we (Joe and I) both let it happen. Just before Joe came (he told me the next day), he leaned in and asked her “how do you avoid pregnancy?” Given that he was just about to climax, he was proud of himself for having the minimal presence of mind to at least have a coherent sentence. Brandy replied, “I’m fixed. We both are.” Then Joe came in her. My experience with Justin was similar. I was so overcome with orgasms that I didn’t even notice or care that he didn’t have a condom on. It just felt SOOO good. And he came in me. (I’m fixed too. Hysterectomy.) We actually do believe them that they are sterile. — Both Joe and I avoided talking about it until at dinner last night when he brought it up. We both shrugged. We know that it wasn’t right. We know that we need to get tested again for STDs. We know that we shouldn’t do it again without condoms. — I also know that this is what most readers are going to harp on us about when reading this post. - We just looked it up. To cover most of the STD’s we will wait 4 weeks to get tested, unless we have symptoms sooner. By 4 weeks, the incubation period will have past, so either we’ll test positive, or we’ll likely be in the clear.