Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Secret is Safe

So far, no one (other than one person a couple of years ago) has determined our true identity. Looks like all the back-doors are locked down.

We've been quiet for the past 6 weeks because we took a break from non-monogamy. We wanted to focus on family and each other for the holidays. We'll get back to the swing of things soon enough.

Press forward slutty saints!

Monday, December 25, 2017

Would you like to play a game?

First, I don’t want to be publicly outer/exposed. No doxxing me. OK?

Here’s the game. See if you can figure out who I really am. This isn’t a “guessing game.” You can’t just randomly guess; you need to see if you can use your sleuthing, blood-hound skills to determine of there are internet crumbs that lead you to discover my identity. 

If you’ve found a path to discovering who I am, email me at ChristyBA75@gmail.com and tell me (1) who I am, and (2) how you discovered it.

A couple of years ago there was a glitch in an app that linked two accounts that I had: one with my name as Christy and one with my real name. Someone figured it out and emailed me. Thankfully he didn’t publicly out me. (Thanks again if you’re reading this.) He knows my real name. He’s assured me that he hasn’t and won’t disclose it publicly, and I appreciate that. Within an hour of him notifying me, I deleted the accounts from that app and deleted the app, but I'm curious if there are other clues out there.

Under my real name, I MAY start coming out of the closet, but I doubt that I’ll ever associate my real name with my pseudonym. What you may discover over the next few years is that I post here a bit less and that “someone else” starts posting things elsewhere on the internet about their sexual adventures. Also, I’m getting busier with other things, so I’ll be turning over much of the story-telling to my husband, "Joe". He is just as verbose as me and is even more techie.

So, if you’re up for a sleuthing challenge, come find me!  (Just please don’t post how you found me. If you find a good bread-crumb trail, you won’t need me to confirm the truth. You’ll know it. But if you do find an accurate path and you know the truth and email me the info, I will confirm it for you as long as you can make me feel assured that you’ll keep the info private.)

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Coming Out to You All?

We’re getting close to coming out of the closet and into the open. As the years go on and as our kids grow and as our church status changes, we have less to lose. Be coming out, we can be more genuine and say what’s on our minds in real life, not just on the internet.

Of course, there are still fears. The biggest one is that something bad may happen as a result of us coming out that we didn’t anticipate: one of us gets fired from our job because our boss learns the truth (very unlikely that he’d care), or that we’ll lose more friends than we thought, or that we lose the mystique of being anonymous, or that our kids resent us (though we're pretty sure they already know what's up with us).

What do you think? Should we come out and say who we are? Why or why not? We'd really like to hear your thoughts.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Party at home - And Bambi

Joe here. 

Every word of this is true, other than the names. 

We had a party here last night with about 40 people. We had met about 16 of them before. The rest were new to us, but we’d seen photos of them (or at least much of their bodies) online. They all knew what kind of party this was, so they came with the same general intentions. Most people don’t look as good as their online pictures, but some look better. Bambi was one of those. We found Mark and Bambi on Feeld, a swinger app. We’d been chatting with them for almost a year and never seemed to be able to meet up with them. I got the feeling that we were more interested in them than they were in us. A few weeks ago, they RSVPd to our party, and then a few days ago they warned us that they probably weren’t going to make it. No surprise. Oh well. Then just a few hours before the party he texted to tell us that they would come. The guests arrived at the appointed hour.  When Mark and Bambi arrived, wow! He was suave and she was tall drop-dead gorgeous. She looked like 35 year-old Maggie Gyllenhaal, but absolutely stunningly gorgeous. She looked like she’s have a French accent, and I was surprised that she didn’t, yet she was eloquent and brought the room to silence upon their entrance. She acted as if she didn’t know how good looking she was. 

After welcoming all the guests and everyone introduced themselves, the event got started. It wasn’t more than two minutes before Bambi approached me and asked if she could kiss me. I was stunned, but quickly said, “Of course” and we stood there making out for a minute. She thanked me and moved on. 15 minutes later, her dress was off and she was walking around in black high heels and a tight black lace swimsuit-like outfit. It was VERY see-through and laced down the front. She approached me again and asked if I’d like to lick her nipples. Of course I said yes, then she asked if she could give me a blow job. She took my hand and walked me to a couch. I admitted to her that I wasn’t quite “ready”. She offered to wait and come back to me, but I didn’t want to miss my chance with her. I sat down on the couch and before I could get my pants down to my knees, I was good and ready. Oh she was good at it. She knew all the classic BJ moves. She didn’t miss a thing. It was only about two minutes, but it was awesome! She then moved on to elsewhere in the party.

By this time, most everyone at the party was either naked or just down to their undies. My wife was in an adjacent room getting fucked. I walked in and she was climbing on her second guy and having a great time. So I went back to see what Bambi was doing. I saw her and another attractive woman, Rebecca , kneeling side-by-side giving Steve a blow job. Steve’s wife, Amy, was behind Bambi rubbing up on Bambi and Rebecca. I sat in a chair close by watching and hoping that if Bambi looked around for something to do next that she’s pick me again. But I didn’t want to appear to eager. I didn’t want her to be creeped out by me being a stalker, so I just sat back. Bambi, Rebecca and Amy were all kneeling on the floor naked and were making out and fingering one another. It was so tempting to want to reach in. Some women are open to having someone just join in, some women aren’t. I, and most men, are’t good at reading signs, so it’s best for us to wait for an explicit invitation. 

Bambi laid back on the floor with her head right next to my chair. Amy was going down on her licking Bambi’s pussy. Bambi was moaning with delight. When he eyes opened, she saw me and reached up to me. Her hand went to my knee and then to my crotch. I took that as an invitation to kneel down and kiss her. I then sucked on her tits and she pulled down my boxers and gave me a blow job while Amy licked her clit. Bambi then whispered, “fuck me”.

Oh yes!

Bambi told Amy, “He’s going to fuck me”. That was Bambi’s nice way of telling Amy that she needed to move aside. I grabbed a condom and put it on so fast, and thrust inside her. Oh yes! I kissed her and told her that she was beautiful and gorgeous. I said her name out loud. (I read somewhere that women like that. I hope it’s generally true.) I’m 99% confident that she was having orgasms. I could have taken my time to tease and play with her and build up over the next few minutes to hours, but I didn’t know if I’d get another chance with her. And I knew that I wasn’t saving myself for anyone else that evening, so I let it all go. I came hard, and I pounded in her. And she came hard. It was AMAZING! 

Once we both started coming down, I backed out and smiled at her and thanked her by name. I said, “I hope I didn’t give you too bad a rug burn.” She said, “Not too bad.” I helped her up, then grabbed a tissue to remove the condom and deposit it into a trash can. I put my shorts back on and got something to rehydrate me. A perm-grin was on my face for a long time after that. 

I didn’t hover over her for the rest of the evening, but I did pass her frequently and smiled at her. I talked with her husband a couple of times for a while about our professional lives, and I conversed with her about her life. From what I noticed, she only had sex with me and her husband that night. If she did have sex with someone else, I’m sure it wasn’t with anyone before me.

After the party, I texted Mark and thanked them for coming and told them that we wanted to meet up with them again. He said that they’d like that also. I need to be careful that I don’t get stalker-is. I fear that I have a tendency to do that. But I also want them to know that we’re really into them. 

Oh, also at the end of the party, I also had sex with Brandy. (See previous entries if you don’t know who Brandy is.) And if you think that the names Brandy and Bambi are too similar or too stripper-like, just know that we pick pseudonyms that are related to their real names—makes it easier for us to keep track.

I just realized that I didn’t mention that I drove to Brandy’s place two weeks ago, had dinner with her and her husband and their kids (weird). Then Brandy and I went to a hotel room (with our spouses’ knowledge and consent) and Brandy and I had sex for a few hours. I came twice. Then I drove her back home. The sex was good. Brandy things we have great chemistry. I’m not so sure. She’s really into me. My wife is jealous about the whole thing and doesn’t really like it, but doesn’t know why. Brandy tells me that I’m very attractive. I don’t see it, and it almost makes me uncomfortable. She stares at me very seductively (or maybe a bit stalker-ish.) 

Tonight I told my wife that I had sex with Brandy at the end of the party. She didn’t know that. That made my wife jealous. She doesn’t know why. She says that I didn’t do anything wrong. Brandy wasn’t off limits at the party. My wife said that she should have been jealous of me having sex with Bambi since Bambi is movie-star gorgeous, but my wife wasn’t jealous of that. Christy couldn’t explain the reasons for the disparity in the jealousy, and I’ve learned to not push her to find reasons for her feelings. 

Time for bed.

Saturday, October 21, 2017


This is Joe.

I’m being a bit raw and open here. Meaning that I’m admitting things that I don’t think are flattering of me. As I age, I’m trying/wanting to be more genuine. As the facade of the old LDS me drops away, I’m trying to discover who I really am and who I want to be as a person. I rarely like the real me that it’s in the mirror. My wife tells me that she wants the truth, but I don’t know if I want the truth.

The truth is that she fulfills the majority of my desires from any one person, but she doesn’t fulfill all. No one person possible could. However she was raised to (falsely) believe that a wife should be EVERYTHING to her husband and that he should want for nothing from anyone else. She now rationally knows that this is not possible and is a burden that she should have never believed in, but she’s having a hard time breaking herself of that notion, and when she falls back into old ways of thinking she resumes feeling like a failure if I want to have sex with other women. And I do want to have sex with other women. In the last few months, she’s let me have sex with three different women without her being present. And we’re all doing great! (One was with the woman’s husband present.) Christy has told me that I can go have sex with that woman again. That woman invited me to have sex with her next week without her husband present. I checked with her husband and he’s great with it. 

The other challenge is that Christy has a minor disability that occasionally keeps her from being as physically active as she wants to be. It can interfere at unpredictable times. In the past, I felt like she was sometimes using it as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable situations, and I feel bad for thinking that. (I can’t think of any examples of that happening so it’s probably not true, just my perception.) We were supposed to do something sexy last weekend, but her health got in the way. My challenge has been/is that I not be a mopey sack when that happens. I need to believe that she’s really trying to do her best and that she’s not using it as an excuse. When I mope, she then quietly gets mad and is less willing to accommodate me. We then get into a viscous cycle of digging in. I need to assume she’s doing her best, and I need to accept what she does.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Best Party Ever!! (Ever)

Joe here.

It’s so temping to come out of the closet . . . but not yet. 

What an amazing party last night! 50 people in an amazing hotel suite! Everyone was having a great time. Love and life was flowing. Everyone was kind and generous and fucking (amazing)! Christy had sex with three different guys plus me, plus a guy who tried but could get hard again fast enough after finishing with someone else. All the guys wanted to fuck Christy. She was the life of the party! (That’s my observation.) So many nice hot people. One couple brought two vanilla couples who just watched and who tried not to be scared. Everyone was nice to them. Christy helped a newbie couple come out of their shell and had some play time with them in a threesome to let them experience some things they’d never done before. It was almost like watching a therapy session for a couple who was already doing great! I had sex with two women in addition to Christy, and I got tons of blow jobs and made out with a lot of women and sucked a bunch of tits and got mine licked too. It was an incredible evening!

The best were the complements from the attendees! They were so complementary to us! There were a couple of “celebrity” swinger couples there who had been on Playboy TV—one of whom are considered to be the king and queen (in our opinion) of swingers—totally hot and awesome couple! They said and wrote some of the nicest things to us about the experience. It put us on top of the world 

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

This is a hodgepodge of thought during a visit by Brittany to our home. Written all by Joe.


I need to write a bit about what love is, and I need to do it while I’m thinking like this.

Christy is letting me have sex with another woman staying in our home. This woman is really into sex and and is attracted to me. She likes having sex. She is a nice, caring person. She is reasonable attractive. She has many good qualities. I am attracted to her.

But what I feel for Christy is 10,000x more. Christy is so much more to me. And I feel that. I really feel that. If I were to list all the reasons why I love Christy, I could list tons, but it still wouldn’t explain on paper what she is to me. I actually feel something very powerful toward her. I wish I could be analytical and explain what that is, but I can’t. I could try, and I’d be able to explain part of it. I could explain all the ties we have to each other, but that wouldn’t suffice. The feeling is powerful and I wish I could elucidate on it; however it’s a feeling, and I’m not good at describing feelings. That’s why I need to write this now. I want to write this in the moments that I’m feeling it so strong. I want to remember what this is like. I want to never forget this feeling. Christy is everything to me. She is perfect even when she’s not. Even in saying that, it’s descriptive and fails to explain that I mean. I just need to say that this is what love is. What I feel now is true love.

My wife and I have been swingers for the last five years. Mostly it's same-room full swap. Occasionally we've each been on a couple of solo dates. I have zero jealousy. She has some jealousy. She knows that it's not rational jealousy, and we both know (more or less) what triggers her jealousy.

I know (for the most part) what upsets her. For example, I need to not go have sex with a woman without clearing it with her first. She doesn't want me to get heavily emotionally involved with another woman via text/chat. Yesterday I said, "I appreciate that you've allowed me the privacy of not looking at my phone." She said, "Is there something on there I should see?" I said, "no." She said, "Good, because I really don't want to know." -- I do fear that if she read my phone, she might think that I've crossed her line a few times by getting too close to other women. But in general, my wife takes the approach of saying, "Don't cross the line, but if you do, I don't want to know. You haven't crossed the line have you? No? Good, but I don't want to know if you have, but I hope you haven't."

Personally I don't think it's a good idea for someone to willfully choose to be ignorant, but that's what's she wants to be. To some degree, I understand because she does have momentary flights of jealousy, so she doesn't see a reason to open herself to be triggered. Also, the "lines" aren't very well defined in some cases. Getting "too close" emotionally may mean something different to her than to me. What I may think is ok may set her off, so we agree to keep her out of the loop on some things.
The problem I'm having with all this is that I fear that one day she will reverse her decision to read/see everything, and then she'll decide that I've been crossing her line for all this time. The only way for me to know that I'm in safe territory is to show her now, but she doesn't want to see.

When I want to address specifics, she tells me that I'm too OCD and that I'm trying to address every possible scenario, which she says is impossible to predict. She just says, use common sense.

Next morning…

We had a good, long talk. We defined poly for us. She understood. I explained that I want her to always fill 95% of my desires, and that others will likely not fill more than 5%. I explained that her remaining ignorant wasn't helpful to me, that I need her to let me know when her desires aren't being met. I think things are good.

I do develop feelings to some degree for the person I'm sleeping with. I think I am poly by nature. My wife does say, "be loving to me", "be present", "spend time", but she also says, "don't text too much". Those are all pretty vague and she is a pleaser, so she doesn't complain until I've gotten really far off tract. She still has ownership mentality a bit, but that’s rooted in our religious upbringing. I have it too, but I’m trying to let go of it and I think that scares her that I’m willing to let go of ownership of her. I try to be supportive of helping her work out her own issues about this without making her feel like she has a problem that needs to be fixed.

Brittany is coming to visit for 3 days. She’ll be here in two hours. Christy is nervous and is cleaning the house. She is accepting but worried. She isn't upset but is quiet. We've talked it all out before. Right now we're quiet. She says that she's "fine". -- I've told Brittany that we can't have sex in the master bed, but everywhere else is fine. Christy doesn't want to see our PDA.

Later first night.

We're all back at our house now. Brittany is in the shower. Christy is headed to bed. Christy said, "Go have fun." I'm waiting for Brittany to get out of the shower, then we'll play. So far so good. (We all went to dinner and had small talk. Christy and Brittany like each other.)

Next morning

Brittany and I had sex in her bed (guest room), then I went back to Christy in the master bedroom and she asked for sex also. Which I happily accommodated. All seems to be OK. We're all up this morning and going to a park together. Christy says she's fine. She's a bit quiet, but says she's fine.

That afternoon

Brittany and I have had sex twice in the guest room since arriving. Once per day. Christy and I have had sex twice also. Christy SEES that I pick her over Brittany, but Christy still feels irrationally threatened. I think that if she could TALK to Brittany about this fear, that she'd work through it, but Christy won't tackle it head on.

Maybe I'm doing "poly" wrong. I don't understand or like the idea of keeping everyone separate.
Am I supposed to say to my wife, "I'm going out. I'll be back in a day or two." That won't fly with her or me. And we're not publicly out of the closet (yet). So no holding hands in public with another woman. Seems best if everyone knows everyone else and all is on the table, rather than living separate relationships. Or maybe I don't understand what poly is?

I posted a question on an online forum about jealousy in this situation, and someone wrote back, “If what she needs right now is to put her head down and avoid conflict while your girlfriend is here, then let her.”
That's exactly what I've told her. I've told her that if she wants to not talk now, that's completely fine. I've also said that I hope that she'll talk to me about her feelings afterward. I've said that if she's NEVER going to be able to talk about her feelings about this visit, then that's not going to work for me, and then I'll need to give up on polyamory. 

The visit concluded well. I had sex with Brittany once each day and kissed her and was affectionate to hr a few times each day. I spent a lot of time with Christy having sex and having our usual marriage intimacy conversations and holding and kissing her. The three of us went out a lot during the visit.

For the final play session, I invited Christy to join me and Brittany. She tried, but she was feeling jealousy, so she calmly pulled back from the situation. I sensed it, and it was fine. Brittany had a good orgasm. I didn’t. Later that night, Christy and I played alone and had a great time.

In all, it was a learning experience, and I think everyone had a good time.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Joe's Weekend at Home - Two Women - Two Nights

Joe time!

Big couple of weeks coming up! This weekend, Brittany is coming for a visit. She’ll be staying a few days. I hope to have sex with her at least once a day while she’s here. Christy and Brittany seem to both get along well and respect each other. Christy still is worried about jealousy, and I do my best to reassure her and make her feel like number-one. Brittany is very sensitive to Christy’s needs and doesn’t want to tread where she’s not invited. I’m super turned on by both of them. We’ll likely have a three-some at some point, but neither of them are super bisexual. Christy is bi-comfortable and is turned on by it, but she’s not super attracted to women naturally as much as she once thought she was. Brittany admits that she is primarily heterosexual also. Those are all good things that favor me getting a lot of action.

Also, Christy has a friend named Darcy. (See Dec 31, 2011 when we first met them). She is now divorced. She’s a bit of a downer in general—especially since her divorce. She had come to visit us about a year ago at an event we were having. She was a bit of a pill to be honest. But she likes sex and craves attention. She texted Christy last night and invited her out to dinner tonight. Christy said that she could come over to have dinner with us and let her know that I’d play with her. (I’ll play with her as long as she’s not a super downer. She’s reasonably fit and energetic and a nice person.) So tonight we’ll have her come for dinner and then I’ll probably have sex with her.

Then next weekend, we’re going to another sex party. More to follow on that!

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Joe in MFM Threesome

This is all Joe. The couple we played with last week, Brandy and Justin, I played with them again without Christy last night. She let me go do it. The rule was that I needed to check in with her via text every hour to two. So I did, and I texted her how much I loved her. I met the couple at their hotel room. They showered after traveling. Brandy came out of the shower in a towel.  She dropped the towel. We made out. Her husband came out. We all got naked. Us guys make sure to not bump into each other. We mostly avoided eye contact and tried to not look at each others dicks without making it obvious. We each took turns having sex with Brandy while she took turns giving us blow jobs. It was a standard, fun, traditional threesome. (She let me give her oral sex. She said that she doesn’t like oral sex because she’s too sensitive. She allowed me to go very slowly on her. She came many many times. She told me that I was the best at it. — I actually believe her.) After we all had as many orgasms as we each wanted, we all sat and talked. We talked about this being the first time I’ve done this. We talked about ideas on jealousy and “sperm competition” sexual drive. It was a pretty good experience. We hugged and I went home. Christy was home and I recounted the experience. She wasn’t jealousy at all. She was great. She and I had sex and had a great time.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Solo Play Review - and Our First Full-Swap Couple, Again

We're done.

Done with the experiment. Not the marriage. The marriage is fine. (See how I got you worried? Like a bad movie teaser.) We're OK. On that day, I left him at the hotel room at 10 am. I had told him that I wouldn't text him during the day. I told him that I would like him to come back before falling asleep. I didn't want him sleeping with her. I went to the mall, then a museum, then a park with outdoor art. It started raining, and my mind started worrying and going places. I started to get a bit more jealous that I'd expected. I emailed him at 2 pm that I was back in the hotel room. He didn't reply to my email until 6 pm to tell me this "Saw your email. I worried about you in the rain. She didn't arrive until almost 2 pm. All is well. I love you so incredibly much from the bottom of my heart. You are the most amazing woman in the world. I hope you still love me too."  I was a bit bugged that I'd left the room at 10 am thinking that he was with her immediately after that, but that he was alone in the room for four hours without telling me. My mind continued to go to dark places. At about 7 pm he texted me..

Joe: "How are you? I see that you're still in the hotel room"
Me: "Yes"
Joe: "I'm worried about you."
Me: "Just watching TV. going to sleep."
Joe: "How are you mentally"
Me: "I don't want to talk about it." (He knew I wasn't doing well.)
Joe: "I'm coming back to you very soon". (He later said that this was his way of saying, "I sense a problem so I'm cancelling the rest of the time with Brittany and coming home to save our marriage now.)
Me: "Take your time. I'm fine. Just going to sleep." (I wasn't fine, but he took this as permission to take all the time he wants because i'm going to sleep."
Joe: "I really love you"

At 10:30 pm
Me: "Woke up and see you still aren't here. Trying to go back to sleep. I think our definitions of 'very soon' are different!" (He realized that the experience was over and he hurried back. I’m going to paste in some of what he wrote about the experience.

Joe here. I intentionally didn’t make a lot of plans for that day with Brittany. The more plans we had, the more Christy would want to know and worry about the plans. So no plans = less worry. Once Christy left the hotel room, I called Brittany and said said that she’d be a bit late coming by. (Late turned into almost four hours). She got a hotel room at another hotel. She picked me up in her car. We kissed in the car and she drove us to her hotel. We didn’t get into the room until almost 4 pm. We made out and got hot and heavy, but we put off sex until after we got lunch. She hadn’t eaten. We went down to the hotel bar and got some food and talked for a while. She knew that I’d NEVER done anything like this, and I expressed my anxiety for myself and for my wife. Brittany knows my wife pretty well and very much respects her. She genuinely doesn’t want to hurt our marriage. She said that she is genuinely attracted to me. That was VERY flattering. I’ve never had ANYONE other than my wife express attraction to me in that way. I do not consider myself good looking. We went back up to the room and had sex. It was good and fun. We sat and talked (naked) and had sex again. (I was able to get a second erections, but couldn’t orgasm a second time.) I saw the email from Christy and responded. We then went down to dinner. Dinner took a while— kitchen problems. We walked around the hotel and talked about her life and her boyfriend. (He knows that she and I were meeting. Their relationship was/is strained.) I then texted Christy the 7 pm texts. Brittany and I went back to the hotel room and played again. We used condoms. (He boyfriend has problems with erectile dysfunction. He’s come out as bisexual, and she thinks he may be gay. So the sex with him isn’t as passionate she says. — My wife and I know him. Christy has played with him and can vouch that this is all correct.) Brittany had texted me weeks before about a fantasy she has about me having sex with her and then pulling out and cuming on her chest. So I did. Yes, it was super hot! She is extremely into sex and has a massive libido. I then got the text from Christy at 10:30 and hustled back to our hotel room.

Back in our room, Christy was in the bed in the dark. I slipped in and slipped into bed next to her, gave her a hug and said, “I love you.” She responded with “OK” and not hugging me back. I realized that she was not doing well. She did not want to talk. I took two Benadryl and went to bed. She sent me a long text at midnight that I didn’t see until morning. I’ll just paraphrase it: “I’m not processing this well. I keep imaging what you and she did all day and I worry that you did things that triggered my jealousy. I also feel bad that we didn’t communicate more about the day. I’m glad you did this, but I wish I’d been kept more in the loop and checked in with me.”

Christy here again. That’s all accurate. I was hoping that he’s involve me more in the updates and tell me what was going on. We failed to be that specific in advance. The following day I was a bit quiet. Joe and I did go out and go shopping. Oh, we tried to have sex first that morning. It was “apology sex” on his part. I wasn’t super into it, but I let him do it. He was having a hard time orgasming and then he starting crying during sex because he felt so bad that he couldn’t orgasm with me that morning. He said he felt like he HAD to orgasm to show me that he loved me and that if he didn’t that I’d end our marriage. He was being silly. He put himself under so much pressure that he couldn’t climax. It was fine. We went out shopping and walked around the town. It took all day, but we got back to normal. We talked A LOT about the experience. He was sensitive to not tell me all the hot details. He put my mind at ease. Brittany texted me to see how I was. I convinced her that I was fine after Joe had texted her that I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I would do. By that evening, I really was fine and we both texted Brittany to let her know that all was well. We had planned on going out with her that evening together, but Joe and I decided that we’d just spend the evening with just the two of us. He proved to me that he really does love me and puts me first. Technically he followed the rules that we’d agreed upon. After the experience I discovered that I did need more involvement and that 12 hours was too much for me. It gave my mind too much time to worry. I’m up to doing it again, but let’s start with 2-4 hours next time or have him check in with me every few hours to update me on things.


One week later. Look at this post on our blog from 2011. This was the first couple we’d ever had a full-swap with: Brandy and Justin. In the six years since then, they’d joined the military and had a second child. They’d moved a few times with the military, then they got out and are back here. They messaged us asking if we wanted to meet. They kindly said that he were their favorite sex parters. They convinced us that they thought it was true. They were very young the first time 20/21 years old. (Too young for us in retrospect.) We met them for dinner on July 28, 2017. When we saw them in person, they have aged VERY well. Two VERY hot people. (I must say that we have aged well too.) We talked about what we’ve all been doing for the past six years and where life has taken us. He’s a very nice shy, gentle guy. She’s outgoing and smoking sexy! She’s had a very boyfriends over the years and has played solo. After dinner, we went to the hotel room that we’d arranged for. We sat and talked for a while longer—always allowing for the women to take the lead. Men know that they are to not be pushy. That can be frustrating to the women but it balances the risk of being assaulted. At a long pause in the conversation, then a sexy glance, the women quickly jumped on the opposite men. Brandy with Joe and me with Justin. We each took a different bed. The sex was hot and the positions exciting. The passion was perfect. Everybody orgasmed—the women multiple times. It was exactly the kind of experience that swingers desire—in every way. Pure perfection. We all really like each other. — Challenges: we live 70 miles from each other, so frequent outings are a challenge. There is a significant age difference, and they have very little money, so we need to pay every time. None of this is a huge problem, but it doesn’t lend itself to the easiest of maintaining a perfect friendship. 

The next morning (yesterday), they texted and asked if they could meet us again next weekend.Two weekends in a row with the same couple is usually a bit much for us, and I do have other commitments with relatives next weekend. Joe told them that we couldn’t next weekend because I was busy. They then wrote back and asked if Joe could play with them in a MFM threesome. I actually told him that I was fine with that. Joe was surprised that I let him — especially after last weekend. He’s nervous to have the husband there. Joe has no same-sex attraction. He’s not phobic, but it doesn’t appeal to him, and he’s worried about performance why being watched by Justin. But they’re all going to do it. We’ll see how it goes.


In full discloser, there’s one thing we should add about the experience with Brandy and Justin. Look back at our post in 2011. We didn’t use condoms with them in 2011, nor with the couple immediately after that in 2011. Since then, we never played again  without condoms—until this past Friday night. Brandy and Justin both pushed on without condoms and we (Joe and I) both let it happen. Just before Joe came (he told me the next day), he leaned in and asked her “how do you avoid pregnancy?” Given that he was just about to climax, he was proud of himself for having the minimal presence of mind to at least have a coherent sentence. Brandy replied, “I’m fixed. We both are.” Then Joe came in her. My experience with Justin was similar. I was so overcome with orgasms that I didn’t even notice or care that he didn’t have a condom on. It just felt SOOO good. And he came in me. (I’m fixed too. Hysterectomy.) We actually do believe them that they are sterile. — Both Joe and I avoided talking about it until at dinner last night when he brought it up. We both shrugged. We know that it wasn’t right. We know that we need to get tested again for STDs. We know that we shouldn’t do it again without condoms. — I also know that this is what most readers are going to harp on us about when reading this post. - We just looked it up. To cover most of the STD’s we will wait 4 weeks to get tested, unless we have symptoms sooner. By 4 weeks, the incubation period will have past, so either we’ll test positive, or we’ll likely be in the clear. 

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Solo for Joe

Yes, I'm back after a long time away. Life is good. Marriage is great. We haven't had sex with other people for many months. We've been on two first-time dates with other couples since then, but no spark. We had a date planned tonight with what seems like a great couple, but they just told us they have a family emergency. I 70% believe them. We'll see if we get another chance to go out with them.

The other BIG news is that we're taking a trip to visit a woman who we know. We played with her (Brittany) and her BF (Daniel) at a party at the Bellagio in January and back in the fall. (Brittany and Daniel don't live in the same city.) We're flying out to meet Brittany in her hometown, and I'm going to let my husband have a full day and night ALONE with Brittany! This is huge for us! I'm letting my husband go on an 18-hour date alone with another women while I go to museums and shopping on my own. I'm processing all of this as best I can. I'm working on feeling a ton of compersion.

Saturday, February 25, 2017


We went to the best sex club ever last night! It was a Trapeze club in an east coast city. (Visiting for an in-law’s wedding, but snuck out to play.)

We had tried to arrange a meet-up with a couple, but it didn’t work out, so we went to the club to see it.

They had at least three different bars inside. It’s BYOB, but you check your alcohol in with the staff and they pour the drinks for you at no cost.

They also have a buffet. Normally I’d never eat from a buffet in a place associated with sex, including strip clubs, but this buffet was great and clean and well maintained. At about 1 am it turns into a breakfast buffet.

Like most sex clubs, it was dark and loud, but the layout was nice in that it wasn’t too much of a maze and it wasn’t too wide-open—the perfect balance of each. The dance floor was nice, seating area and tables for smoking and non-smoking, lots of cozy corners for chatting and sitting.

In the back was the locker-room. If you wanted to go to the play areas, you had to be dressed in only a towel or in lingerie for the women. We stripped down and put on our towels. The locker room attendees were high-class concierge gentlemen who reminded me of maitre d’s in a four-star hotel. High-class all the way. 

After entering the play zone and seeing everyone else in towels, we approached a staff member and asked for an orientation to the various rooms. He walked us around and explained how the rooms were set up: windows between rooms, couples only area, pool table, restrooms, etc. He gave us condoms when Joe asked, since Joe left his in the locker because had no pockets once in his towel. The play zone was a nice maze of rooms big and small. The large play room had about 20 vinyl “beds” with sheer curtains between some of them. There were about 50 people in the room all either naked or in towels and all in some phase of sex with someone. We found one of the remaining open spots and went at it with each other. (I don’t need to explain to you the details of sex; you should know how that works.)

After we were done, we vacated our spot so someone else could move in. We found a Diamond VIP section that is accessible only to club members who pay for that level. It’s another set of play rooms that look even more posh and has its own dance floor and bar. We were just allowed to peek through the window to their foyer. We were curious to know how much better that area was, but since we’re just visiting for the day and because we’d already had sex, we decided to not pay for the upgrade.

We then had breakfast at the buffet and left.

It was a great club. If you ever get the change to visit a Trapeze, do it! We wish we could open one in Salt Lake. It would be awesome if the town folks didn’t shut it down.

Friday, February 3, 2017

The White Party at the Bellagio

We went to Las Vegas for the AVN (Adult Video News) weekend. Also known as the Porn Oscars. We went to just one party: “The White Party” at the Bellagio — not the official AVN White Party. The official parties just have porn stars in them, but no one really having sex. This was the wilder party.

We wore white, just as did everyone else. On our way out of our hotel room, I made some comment about how these could be temple clothes - NOT!

We met the rest of the guests at the Lilly Lounge in the hotel casino. SO many hot people!!

At 11 pm, we were all lead up to a hospitality suite. There were about 100 people. Half of the women could have been porn stars. They had no problem being in lingerie and showing off their nipples. Porn was playing on all four TV’s in the suite. There was a pool table, a bar with two beautiful women working as bartenders, house music, and club lighting. Not too shabby a set-up.

We came to the party with some friends that we’d made at a previous party. (See our entry from Dec 11, 2016). We met up with Daniel and Brittany at the party. We had been flirting with them via text for days prior, so it was a sure thing that we’d have sex with them at the party. After scoping out all the rooms, the four of us made our way to a large L-shaped couch in the back bedroom. We could easily see out into the main room and watch people come and go into the bedrooms. People were welcome to use the bed in this bedroom, since all we needed was the couch.

Brittany was all over Joe. They really started going at it without any hesitation. Daniel and I moved a little slower. He pushed me back against the couch and hiked up my skirt. Of course, I didn’t have panties on (neither did Brittany). Once he was hard, he put on a condom and pushed inside me. I came in less than a minute. I turned around on the couch and faced out the window toward the strip. He repeatedly fucked me from behind. He smacked my ass over and over as he did. I came and came and came. I was really hoping he would soon. I looked over at Joe and Brittany. Just like last time, they were flipping into every position possible and doing it from all angles and then taking turns going down on each other. She likes to moan and call out his name during sex. She pants and huffs during sex. She’s not acting or faking. She was really into it, and she nods her head saying, “oh yeah, yeah, yeah.” She’s so hot to watch! She came more than a few times also. Then he came in her. (With a condom.) He went to the restroom, past the two other naked couples on the bed, to discard his condom. He remained hard even after cumming. Within minutes, he had another condom back on and was letting her ride him. He didn’t come again, but she sure did.

After a couple more minutes, he said that he needed some water. Joe wasn’t looking perfect. I could tell that he wasn’t feeling well. He said that he was having reflux and he was worried about puking if they continued. He wasn’t super sick, but it was apparent that we were all done playing. I was fine with that because I was getting a sore ass. We all got dressed and walked out together. We walked down the lobby, said goodnight to each other and went our separate ways.

We chatted via text the next day, but we were more in the mood to just have time to ourselves, so we were bums and just kept to ourselves for the rest of the weekend.

We had a good time with them, but I don’t know for sure that we’ll see them again, even though Brittany sure does want to see Joe again.  (Sad to say that I wasn’t super into Daniel. Nice guy but not really my type. I think that Joe and Brittany were a much better match, and Brittany knows that. I even felt a bit jealous seeing how much she wanted my husband.)

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Just another (awesome) sex party

Oh what’s new. Just the usual. We were in Vegas a couple of weekends ago and had some friends over to our Cypress suite at the Bellagio on both Friday and Saturday night. Each night, we had 16 people in there (including us). We arranged it so that it was different people each night. The first night, I watched Joe have sex with a woman on the floor, doggy style while she was giving a blow job to another guy. I didn’t have sex with anyone that night, but I gave a few blow jobs. The next night, everyone got naked fast, and Joe and I soft swapped with another VERY hot couple, but no sex with anyone else. Most everyone was having sex with their own partner that night.

On Sunday, we had dinner with a couple who we met at our Friday night party. It was a great restaurant in the Aria hotel. We then went back to our hotel room with them. We talked for a long time and enjoyed watching the fountains. Eventually the two women sat with their own guy and started making out with them. Within a minute, the women both spontaneously switched places and started playing with the other guy. I took Daniel to the bed where we went at it in every position imaginable. Joe and Brittany did it on the couch, then on the ottoman. He laid back while she sort of squatted over him and “bounced” up and down on his cock, sliding almost all the way off each time. He then took her from behind while he stood and she knelt on the ottoman until he came.

Meanwhile, I rode Daniel on the bed so many times. I must have had 20 orgasms. I cum so easily. Joe and Brittany got on the bed next to us, and he fingered her for a VERY long time. She’d never squirted before, but she wanted to. He coached her through it for about 15 minutes. She got so close. She really wanted to. We got her a towel, and she felt the strong urge. She tried to relax, but just couldn’t get over the last hurdle. It will give us something to do the next time we see them. (She also said that Joe looks like Jeffrey Donovan from "Burn Notice". I guess he kind of does. If that gives you any idea what Joe looks like.)

Monday, September 12, 2016

Latest "Orgy" that we hosted

Joe here.

We had the “orgy” last night. We’d been mentioning it for a few weeks online.

Now, when we say “orgy”, don’t think that it was togas and a pile-on. It was 16 people. They were all dressed nice. We socialized for a while and got to know each other. We knew about half of them already. The other half we had invited based on their online profiles and the validations of others. 

We played a little get-to-know-you, sexy-ice-breaker game which lead to kissing and making out. 

Christy had her new boy Brad there. She gave him a blow-job and made out with him. We had a single-lady friend with us there: Mary. Mary had sex with Brad. (Brad is huge and Mary was willing.) Mary also gave me a blow-job. I also got a blow-job from a very hot woman who we’d never met before. She and her husband were pretty quiet, but she enjoyed going around giving mini-blow-jobs.

Shelly and Jason were there. They were the first couple who we’d ever had sex with in our home. (See June 26, 2016). I did Shelly doggy-style on the floor for a few minutes—just for fun. Neither of us were trying to get done, but it was just for fun. I reached around and rubbed her clit and she enjoyed it.

Christy (yes, my own wife), had me sit back on a chair and she straddled my lap and we had sex. She came. I held back.

Meanwhile, everyone else was having sex all over the place. I couldn’t keep track of it all.

The highlight for me was Kelly. She and her husband are 26 years old, but she acts older. They said that they’d been turned down by couples in the past for being too young. We told them that we don’t have a problem with their age. Kelly likes being in control. She likes the guy to just lay back and she’ll do it all. She doesn’t even really like the guy to move. She likes to hesitate, taunt, and tease as she kisses. She likes giving “interesting” blow-jobs as she moves slow then fast. She doesn’t cater to the rhythm of the guy. She’s into it for her pleasure, and that was pretty erotic. Eventually she told me to put on a condom and she wanted me to lay face up on the floor. She mounted me and put me inside her. I put my hand on her back and on the back of her head. She nicely grabbed my hand and held in to the floor above my head. She thrusted up and down. I tried to match her pace, but she told me to slow down. She actually didn’t want me to move at all. She was “using” me as her dildo. She reached down to rub her clit hard as she came the first time. She told me that if I go slow, she’d come again. I thrust in and out at what I thought was a very slow pace, but she told me to go slower. I basically just stopped moving. She leaned over me and pulled my head up to one of her tits, so I sucked on it and rubbed them. She came again hard. She smiled and thanked me. She then asked what I wanted. I asked if I could be on top. She enthusiastically said, “sure!”. We traded positions, into the standard missionary position. I thrusted for about 30 seconds and she made the traditional movements, and I came hard. I thanked her very much. (Did I mention that she is young, hot, and super attractive in every way?)

There was another woman at the party who was very attractive. (Actually everyone was very attractive). This woman had perfect, large breasts (fake, but awesome). She’d never had a full-swap with anyone. She was asking me if I wanted to fuck her. I really did earlier in the evening, but by now she was drinking too much, and I’d just orgasmed. I didn’t feel like she was really able to consent. A couple of hours prior, she was interested in sex with me, but she wasn’t explicit at that time. I’m 99% sure that it would have been fine at this point, and her husband was fine with it. She ended up having sex with another guy. I prefer that the person with whom I’m having sex is not intoxicated. I want them to be fully participating in the sex.

It was a great evening. I think that everyone who wanted to had sex. (There was one little tiff because a guy had gone into another room to have sex with a woman, and apparently that was against the rules between him and his wife. When his wife found out, she was upset and left. She came back and got bugged at him in front of the other woman [the woman who was drunk who I declined to have sex with], then the wife left again. The husband went after her and they went home and dealt with it. We knew this couple from a previous event. They had no issue at the previous event. And we know they are a full-swap couple. We’re not really sure what happened. That’s between them.)

We’ll call the evening a great success for us. Both Christy and I had a great time and did what we wanted to do. We’re sure we’ll do it again.

Monday, September 5, 2016

How Joe Feels

So how do I feel? In general, very good.

When Christy came back from her romp with Brad, I was indeed concerned about her bleeding. She showed me. But she wasn’t overly concerned. She and I had caused her worse with various sex toys over the years.

I’ve been on an odd train for the past 5+ years. The Odd Sex Train. It’s all laid out here on this blog over the years. Where does it go from here? Who knows. But I know that it’s not as predictable as most people’s life-train. And that’s one reason why I like it. I like that it’s impossible to know where it’s going. If my life were just one 1,000 mile, straight, flat, train ride from beginning to end, I might as well have jumped off at the beginning and rolled in the dirt. 

There is some truth to the idea that I keep wanting more and more when it comes to sex. I want to see how wild a ride we can take without crashing the train. I got very close to doing that about six weeks ago. Not that that was a good thing because she was very close to leaving me, but I now know where the boundary is and why it’s there. I now know that the boundary isn’t necessarily sex but is my failure to disclose about sex/drugs/money/etc. She wants honesty.

I mark yesterday as a landmark day in our lives. I remember the day when we first went to a strip club (Sapphire) in Las Vegas and she got a VIP lap dance from an experienced stripper and had an orgasm. That was the first day that I’d ever been in a strip club in my life. I remember the day that we first had oral sex from another person, and the day that we had sex with other people, and the day that we hosted our first sex party, and the day that I kissed a woman without my wife present (but she knew about it in advance). Yesterday was a momentous day, and we both knew it because we were both anxious about the build-up to it. That anxiety is a rush! And other than the penis-size issue, it worked out just as expected and couldn’t have been better for both of us.

As we debriefed (mentally) with each other last night, I said that I didn’t want to go to sleep because it’s like it’s Christmas day, and if I go to sleep then when I wake up it won’t be the same day. We also talked about how sexual escapades like this can’t be equally mirrored. If we had done the exact same thing but in the opposite roles, there’s no way that Christy would have wanted me to do the same thing, and I know that and accept that. We both inherited our roles from the society we were raised in and live in. And we have to play by the rules of society because that’s what we live in. I said that it wouldn’t work to do a reversal, to have me try to pick up on a woman. I know how single guys look to women online. I know how I’d look. Christy was kindly dismissive of my self-deprecation, but we both know that a reversed situation wouldn’t have turned out as well for either of us. As we laid in bed last night we briefly discussed the concept of me trying to pick up on a woman at a bar. I’ve NEVER even considered doing this in my entire life. I’d seen it done in movies hundreds of times, but I’ve never even been in a position where that would be possible, and I know that movies are fake and that women wouldn’t respond to me unless I were one of those actors and we were both following the script. I told Christy this. She was again kindly dismissive. I followed with, “and I know that you wouldn’t want to stand there and watch me do that, because that’s the only way that I could dare try it, is if I knew that you were there and supporting it.” She said that if we were to try it that we’d have to do it in Vegas rather than in our home town. I replied, “Do you worry that we’re going to inadvertently pick up on the bishop or his wife in our local bar?” The conversation topic trailed off.

I then joked with her about introducing her new boyfriend to her colleagues at work and bringing a “plus two” to the Christmas party. In the last 48 hours, I referred to Brad as her “boyfriend”, and Christy smiled but didn’t dislike the term, even if it were too soon to embrace it. Even during all of this, I kept up on replying to a couple of emails from the runners-up from Friday night. If it turns out that Brad isn’t a good “fit” for Christy, then she and I agree that she’d be open to trying it with another guy, but I think that other than penis size, she got very lucky with Brad. He seems super awesome and kind and real. My guess is that most of the alternative wouldn’t have worked out as well. But now that she’s had a success, she may be willing to tolerate a failure.

The Closet

We went out to dinner, just the two of us, last night. (Yes, again on a Sunday.) And she even had a beer. (Yep, alcohol is something new we’re trying.) We don’t like most of the taste nor the calories, but we enjoy the feeling and the ‘naughtiness” of it. As we looked around, we both said that we really do feel good about where our lives are going. We do feel like we’re in control and we feel no shame or guilt or evil or sin. We just feel happy. But we do feel a bit worried. Our worry is about if we fall out of the closet. (We felt safe about having a beer in public on a Sunday. Who would see us and report us?) We know there’s some risk. Christy is more concerned about us being outed than I am. She is worried how some of our children may react. (Beer and missing church is one thing. Swinger celebrities is another.) As a side note, it’s interesting how well “transitioning mormons” can tolerate and support each other’s drinking, smoking, swearing, sleeveless dresses, and pre-marital sex; but they really seem to detest swinging. Just look at Reddit. Christy had to delete her recent post on the ex-mormon subreddit. But when we do stumble upon other LDS swingers, they, like us, do claim/blame that the church had/has a major role in their swinging.

Anyway, back to the story. Christy is worried about coming out of the closet because of how kids may respond. I think it would have a major shift in their respect for us. They probably wouldn’t understand, and kids shouldn’t have to deal with their parents’ sexuality. The other issue is work. We’re both well placed in our careers, and our mormonism is known at work: more for her than for me. For her, her mormonism plays a somewhat significant role in her professional work. If it were reveled that she was a swinger, it will have a seismic shift in her work environment. I think she’d recover, but we’d lose friends and ties. So we chose to remain closeted. 

We know a couple, a minor-celebrity swinger couple. They are well-to-do and totally out of the closet. They’ve been out for many years. They run businesses outside of swinging and they don’t/can’t hide their swinger status, and it doesn’t appear to have a negative impact on them. They recently had their first child. It’s no doubt that the child will one day know of his parent’s swinger status. We wish that we were that couple. But we’re not and we can’t be. Until recently, we were hard-core active mormons. And many people think we still are. Our kids are young adults and for the most part they think that we’re socially conservative. We don’t have the luxury of being who we want to be without shocking those who we care about. Maybe we’ll make the transition over time; maybe we’ll slip up and out ourselves inadvertently. But for now, we’ll remain in the closet with just a toe and nose out the door. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016

I'm back from my solo date . . .

I’m home! Let me tell you about my experience this afternoon.


I got myself checked into the hotel room, then I texted Joe the room number. I told him to text or call me 60 minutes after Brad arrives. I told Joe that I’d let him know when Brad arrives. Brad texted me to tell me that he was going to be a few minutes late because of traffic. I had texted him earlier to let him know that I have only an hour to play. I’m not the kind of person who can have sex for hours: I orgasm easily and after 20 minutes, I’m totally wiped out.

Brad arrived at the hotel room and he said that because we didn’t have much time that we should get right to it. I was totally on board.

Because he’s so tall and I’m petite, he sat on the side of the bed and we started kissing. He unzipped my dress and I helped him get his clothes off. He complemented me and told me that I had a better-looking body than he’d imagined. He was being kind, and I hope honest.

His cock is huge! I mean too huge. The head was large, but he got massively thick as it when down to the base. I’d seen a lot of penises at our parties, but I’ve never seen one this large. At it’s base, it IS as large as a coke can. He wasn’t kidding when he told me that he and his last girlfriend broke up because he was causing her too much pain during sex. I asked him if anyone has ever been able to deep-throat him. He said no. I said I’d try. (I’m pretty good at that.) I wasn’t able to get it all the way in my mouth, but he said that I did better than anyone else ever had. I did gag a few times. 

We hadn’t discussed the end goal, so I asked if he wanted to cum in my mouth. He said that he’d like to cum in my pussy. He genuinely forgot his condoms in the car when he pulled up. He was getting his clothes back on to go get them when I stopped him because Joe had put some in my purse. (They ended up being VERY small for him and just rolled down over the head.)

After I gave him oral for a while, he laid me back on the bed and gave me oral. He was good. Almost as good as Joe. He made me cum. Then he laid back on the bed. I climbed on top of him and straddled over him. I slowly lowered myself down onto his cock, but it really was too large. I know that this sounds like a freaky kinky erotica story, but it was the honest truth. I just couldn’t do it. He felt bad that he was hurting me, and I felt bad that I couldn’t do this for him. 

I laid back down on the bed on my back with my legs over the side of the bed. He fingered me for a while, trying to gently stretch me out. I’ve learned to like spanking, the pain makes me cum. So even though the stretching was a bit painful, the more I orgasmed, the more I relaxed. Then, I had him kneel at the side of the bed and let him gently slide his cock into me. He eased into it so-as to make sure that it wasn’t hurting as much as before. I asked him to slap my ass. (I had told him at he bar on Friday that when I feel pain, it puts me in a zone and makes me euphoric.) He didn’t slap it too hard, not as hard as I have Joe do it. Eventually, he was able to get into me.

Now that I was more stretched and more in-the-zone, I had him get back on the bed on his back. (It was then that I realized that I hadn’t texted Joe to tell him that we’d started. I quickly did and told him to give me 30 more minutes before worrying about me.) I asked Brad if I could take a picture of him and his large cock. He let me. The photo is of him laying back on the bed, fully nude, with his erect cock right there for me to see. I had to have proof of what I was experiencing.*

I then tried again to ride him cow-girl. I knelt over him and let myself down on top of his cock. (Yes he had a condom on whenever he penetrated me, but because of his size and the regular sized condom, I can’t guarantee that we were ideally protected. Don’t lecture me about that.) Now that I was juicy and looser and more euphoric, I was able to take him in me. I still had to lean forward to accommodate him. If I leaned back, I felt him ram against my cervix. During the whole experience, I came somewhere between seven and ten times. He was able to cum in me. It was great! I’ve been with many guys who haven’t been able to orgasm. When I pulled off of him, he felt so bad because of the blood. It wasn’t super bad, but it was obvious. 

We went to the bathroom and cleaned up. Using the white bathroom towels made the blood look worse than it was. I told him that I’d be fine. I’d once had a ball-like toy stuck in me that Joe had to yank out. It had split me bad. I probably should have had stitches, and it took weeks to heel. This was nowhere near bad as that.

We both got dressed and thanked each other for the experience. I told him that I’d be up for doing it again. He told me about a court case that he’s working on. (He’s in law school). I told him that I’d like to read the paper that he’s working on about the Mormon church’s real estate holdings. We walked out together and we went to our respective cars.

After I got home, I told Joe all of this. He was so turned on that he jacked-off on my chest. He watched me as I texted Brad back to thank him for the experience. Joe said that he liked seeing the giddy smile on my face as I did that. I told Brad that I’d be up for a nooner in a few days or next week. I told him that I’d need a few days to recuperate. Most guys would think that I’m complementing him, but Brad is sensitive and doesn’t like being so large, so he did feel bad about hurting me. I genuinely understand why he feels like it’s a bit of a “curse”. Most guys would think that it’s great to be huge, but unless you’re a woman with a large vagina, sex with Brad isn’t easy.

*I wanted the photo so that I could show it to Tori. I kind of want to make her a bit jealous. She has bragged about how big her husband’s cock is. I also want to show Joe to that he’d understand why there’s blood in my panties and why I need a couple of days before we can fuck. I sent the picture to Joe just before I got home and walked in the door. 

Christy is with Brad right now!

Christy walked out the door about five minutes ago to go meet Brad for sex. She booked a hotel room nearby. 

All morning long, she was getting more and more anxious. This was manifest by her talking less and less and deflecting when I tried to talk about it. I could sense that she was on the fence. I knew that she was in knots even though she wasn’t showing it. She was bottling it up. I knew that it was best that I try to not have us talk about it. 

She showed me the texts that she and he were exchanging this morning. It was mostly scheduling and planning. Not much in the way of flirting on her part, but maybe just a little. He was definitely more excited that she was. I could tell that she was getting anxious. 

I stayed away from her for the last couple of hours. I asked her (via text) if I could help with anything. She told me that she was getting freaked out about his size and was sick to her stomach and getting a headache. I asked her if she needed to cancel, and I told her that she should. She told me that she’s doing this totally for me. I do feel bad if that’s 100% the case. When we’ve spoken about this over the last couple of days, she said that she was doing it for her also. We’ll see how this goes. It could go many ways: anywhere from really bad to really good and anywhere in between. 

When Christy came out of the room just before leaving, she had a nice dress on and was made-up very pretty. She had her bag with her that I suspect had sex toys and lube in it. She smiled at me with a smile of worry and anxiety. She said, “I’ll be back later.” Some of that cryptic-talk was for the ears of kids down the hall. Then she walked out the door like she’s going to do something she doesn’t want to do. (Should I add that as she left, Sacrament meeting was underway? None of us made it to church today.)

She just got to the hotel room and texted me the room number. She texted me to tell me that he’s running a few minutes late due to traffic. Once he gets to the room, she’ll text me to let me know, then 75 minutes later I’ll call her. If she doesn’t answer, then I’ll go over there and knock on the door.

No matter what happens, we’re already on a path that is brand new. And it’s happening right now.


Because someone recently asked, I'm posting the 'rules' that Joe and I made for him a few weeks ago after the issue we had with him and Tori.

Boundaries with Tori and Steve (Steve is Tori's husband)

  1. Communication.
    1. Joe must show Christy all written communications with Tori within 24 hours of them being written. Ideally sooner. If Joe fails to do so, Christy will not be mad, but the consequence will be that we will not have sex with anyone other than each other for 30 days. If Joe repeatedly fails, this will be grounds for halting the relationship with Tori and Steve.
    2. Joe will respond to texts from Christy as fast or faster than texts from Tori, especially while at work. Joe will increase the sexy text and emails to Christy.
  2. Christy as Priority.
    1. Gifts: Joe will provide an increase in gifting to Christy: candy, sodas, etc. Joe will never send flowers to anyone other than Christy.
  3. Dating: Weekly dates with minimal phone/computer interruption: the park, concert, dinners, movies.
    1. Getaways: we’ll always have a getaway planned for just the two of us. (i.e. Las Vegas).
  4. Proportions: spend at least 5x as much time on Christy as on Tori. Send Christy 5x as many courting conversations as to Tori.
  5. Flirting: Joe will flirt and sexually touch Christy at work in front of Tori.
  6. Permissions
    1. Sex: Joe can not have sex with Tori without explicit written permission from Christy pertaining to that specific encounter.
    2. Kissing and touching: Joe is permitted to kiss Tori and touch her boobs (not her crotch) without permission from Christy.
    3. Being alone with her: Joe can be alone with her without permission.
    4. Orgasms: Joe can’t be with her while she’s having an orgasm without Christy’s permission.
    5. No sexual/sensual contact in our hometown while others can see.
  7. Obedience
    1. If Christy states that something is to be done (or not done), Joe will do it. It would be most helpful if directives are via text or reminders in the phone.
    2. Christy has the unopposible and indisputable authority to halt the relationship with Tori and Steve.
  8. Planning: Joe will do his utmost to not push the sexual agenda ahead of the others’ natural pace.

Joe wrote all of that and I agreed to all of that. He has a bit of Aspergers in him, as you can tell. He wrote is so that he could not late make justifications for himself if he did something wrong.

Turns out that we didn't need most of that, since the relationship naturally cooled. Currently, there is almost no spark between Tori, and Joe; nor between me and Tori. We're back to a a work-only relationship. It's friendly, but that's about it. It's not impossible that it could reignite, but Tori took offense to something that both Joe and I did. Something VERY small and odd. We never would have known if she hadn't have told us a couple of weeks ago. We both apologized to her. I think she then felt awkward about it afterward, so now things are a bit awkward, but are getting better. This is why we're moving on to 'HotWifing' at the moment.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Hot Wifing It

Sept 2

We posted an ad on Craigslist. It says that I’m 40+ and that I want a quickie. I showed pictures of me from the neck down. In a day, it got responses from about 60 guys. I narrowed it down to about five. We messaged them and accounted for guys who are fake and flakes. We worked it out for me to arrange to meet a guy tonight at a downtown hotel bar. Assuming that he is who he seems to be online, we'll chat and then go up to the hotel room that I have and we'll have sex.

Then I go home and tell my husband about it.

Sept 3

I did it! Sort of. 

Joe and I got to the hotel early. Joe went across the lobby and watched me at the bar lounge. The guy I arranged to meet (Brad) showed up. I talked to him intimately for almost two hours while my husband watched hidden from a distance. Joe make himself scarce. Only after did I realize that he never left, but watched me from hiding. That’s fine, but I’m glad that for a while I didn’t think he was watching. It made me feel like I could not worry about what Joe was thinking while I was conversing with Brad.

In those two hours, I learned a whole lot about Brad. I confirmed this all on Facebook and though other people afterward. (Turns out that he dated [and dumped] a young hot woman who used to be one of my subordinates at work.) He was like a cute boy who was so excited to be with an older woman. (I’m not bad looking for my age.) He keep asking why I picked him. Honestly it was kind of just luck. Turns out that he’s a lot more awesome that he looked in his photos. He's 25, he's in post-grad school, he's 6’9”, he's very well spoken and well read. He knows a lot of people, but he’s not braggy about it. He comes from a well-known family. (I was really thinking that he should be dating my daughter, but he's still a bit old for her. Would it be weird for me to fuck my future son-in-law?) He knows that I'm Mormon, but that I’m in the midst of a faith progression. I wasn’t wearing any panties under my dress if that explains where I am spiritually or sexually. Once I felt comfortable, I told him my real name and where I work.

I guess this is what dating is like as a single person. It’s just that I haven’t done this in 20 years. It feels amazing and liberating and very nice to know that my husband is genuine when he tells me that I’m desirable and beautiful. It was nice to hear that from someone else too.

Before meeting Brad, I truthfully told him that I was getting over a cold and that I wasn’t up for playing on the first date. I didn’t want to have a coughing fit during sex. 

We arranged to play on Sunday (tomorrow). I’ll get a hotel room. Joe won’t be around (his choice). Brad said that he welcomes letting Joe watch if he wants. Joe wants me to experience this without me having to think about him watching. Brad said that I could videotape it for him, but Joe and I agree that it would put the same “pressure” on me. Joe and I want me to experience this as just one-on-one.

Brad wanted to play today (Saturday), but it just wasn’t working with my schedule, and I want one more day to recover from my cold. Will I be skipping church to meet him? If I must.

After the date, I walked Brad out the entrance of the hotel. Joe came up to me. Joe was fine. As Joe and I drove him, I told him everything about Brad and our conversation and plans. I also half-jokingly told him that he should feel a bit intimidated. (My husband picked the guy, so he can take some of that blame. He later pointed out to me that in an earlier email from Brad that he claimed that he’s 8” long and “very, very, very think. Almost like a Coke can.” Yikes! We’ll see. Brad did tell me that things didn’t work out with his last girlfriend due to pain during sex from his size. It didn’t feel like he was bragging. He acted like a hurt puppy dog. I guess I’ll need to bring extra lube. All my kids were via c-section, so I worry that I may not be able to accommodate his size if he’s being genuine.) As I told Joe all about Brad, I could sense (and he admitted) that he was feeling a bit more intimidated and jealous than he had expected. I told him that I was a bit pleased that he was feeling jealous. He now knows how I felt when the situation was reversed with him and Tori. I think that he’s really starting to get it now. I didn’t mean that in a “neener, neener, in your face, you deserve this” kind of way. Joe even says that this . . . well, I’ll let him tell his side of things now. Hopefully the next time you hear from me, I will be able to regale you with stories of the 8” Coke can.

Joe here now. What have I done!? Yes, I picked the guy out of a group of reasonably looking guys. What the heck is a guy like this doing on Craigslist!? He’s too good for this. Apparently he has done this with two other couples in the past. Both failed (per him) for reasons not due to him. He is hoping for an ongoing relationship with Christy. She said that he’d like that. I was thinking that this was going to be a one-night-stand and that she’d find a few things wrong with the guy after having sex with him. Currently, she’s quite smitten by him, and she’s loving the look of panic on my face. (I’m being very sure to put down the toilet seats and get her flowers. She is totally loving this!) She’s told me that I need to keep wooing her. 

We had a good long conversation last night. She readily stated that if I’m REALLY worried, that she will drop the whole thing. I told her to go ahead with things. This feeling that I’m calling “jealousy” is brand new to me. In 20 years of marriage, I’ve never felt whatever this is. I like feeling something new. Having a new feeling makes me feel more “alive”. I guess it’s why people see horror films, which I never do, or why people go or death-defying expeditions, or why teens cut themselves. I’m choosing to embrace this new feeling and see how I can manage it rather than having it manage me. I want to allow Christy to enjoy this sense of freedom and empowerment. She said that she finally feels like she’s in total control. I told her that she was always in control, but I guess she didn’t believe it. Now she believes it.

With swinging, women are in control, but the control can be the kind of control that is used to stop a situation, not always the kind that moves the engagement along. Christy always had the power to reign things in, but because I have such a huge drive, I’m usually pushing forward in multiple directions at 110%, and it’s up to her to decide when and were to pull me back. In this situation with a solo guy, I can’t do anything other than reel her in if I choose. 


This morning, I started reading Tristan Taormino’s book, “Opening Up”. I’d read it before, but I wanted to read it again. I really recommend it. Chapter 3 mentions that there are 3 things that we usually want to get out of a monogamous marriage: sex, romantic love, and long-term attachment. 

When I was having my fling with Tori, Christy was worried that I was going to allow myself to get pulled in by her and that because Tori is young and fertile and I am “rich”, that I could potentially run off with Tori and start a new family. I found that proposition to be preposterous. Tori has an extremely good-looking husband, (so much hotter than me); I’m a dork; I’m marginal at sex; I’m an introvert; and I don’t want to hurt my wife and kids; and I don’t want to have to give half of my stuff to my future-ex-wife; and I know that I’ll discover all sorts of weird things about Tori in a month or year and I’ll then miss my super foxy ex-wife. Despite all this, Christy was still worried about me having a polyamorous relationship with Tori.

Now that Christy is feeling what I call “polyamory” toward Brad, I’m saying, “hey, the tables are turned. So now that’s OK?” Christy’s response is that she is no longer fertile (due to surgery), Brad will want kids some time, Christy won’t have the future earning potential that I have, so she says that he’s not as great a catch as I am for someone looking long term.

Christy is looking at the risk of these relationships as to how they affect things long term. That’s why she sees Tori as more of a threat to our marriage than I see Brad as a threat. I look short term. I dismiss and don’t even recognize the risk of long-term consequences. I can’t seem to fathom anything more than two years away. I figured that I’d have a sexual booty-call relationship with Tori for a year or two at most, if even that. When I think of Christy as having that with Brad, that DOES bug me a bit. I think of him taking her for a week to the Caribbean and taking her on a private jet. (I mentioned this and she got all giddy. I felt jealousy raise up in me. She laughed sinisterly, and then I laughed timidly.) I said, “It’s supposed to be ME who takes you on those lavish trips. He’s just a guy that you’re supposed to bang once or twice, then move on to the next cock. You’re supposed to enjoy the screw, but then find some big fault with the guys that I don’t have.” I didn’t say this in anger or with any emotion. It’s just what I expected was going to happen when we started this path. I really didn’t expect her to be so smitten.

Because these feelings are new, they are exciting and scary at the same time. I feel good that we’ll work though them. I told her that if were her roommate and best friend, that if she’d come home from this date, I’d be so happy for her. I AM her roommate and best friend, so from that perspective I AM so happy for her. Because she is my favorite person in the world, I do so much want her to be happy and joyful in life. I want her to feel new things. There was a time when I had thought/wished that I could have been the provider of all those feelings for her, but I now recognize that no one person can be all things to any other one person. 

I love her so much that I (think) am willing to lose a part of her if it brings her more happiness. Until last night, neither of us even knew that was an option.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Super Sore Ass & Marathon Runners

Sunday Morning.

I’m sore. Two nights ago, we had what I considered marathon sex. Joe had a toy in my ass, another in my pussy, and a mega vibrator on my clit. I thought I’d died 20 times that session. Also, I’ve been more into pain lately. I don’t know way. I had him slap my ass over and over that night. Really, really hard, and I came so hard during that. I even had him verbally degrade me. That was super odd. I think I was just experimenting to try it. At the time it was good, but in retrospect, I don’t think I’ll ask for humiliation again, though I’m sure I’ll asked to get spanked again—but not for a few weeks. My butt looks really really bad—I mean seriously bad.  Anyway, on to the real story. (That night’s reason for excitement was because of what we had planned the following night.)

Yesterday we met a couple who we hadn’t seen in over a year. We’d never played with them before, but we’d been out to dinner with them a year ago. Prior to that, they had come to a party we’d hosted. Yesterday, we’d arranged to meet them for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. We ate together and had great conversation. We then walked to a sex toy store and bought some stuff. We then went back to their hotel room. The four of us talked about our sexual interests and boundaries. In that environment we all had very few: the men aren’t gay, no anal that night, Joe comes fast. She wanted Joe to be aggressive. I didn’t want to get hurt. (As I said, I’d had Joe smack my ass a LOT the night before, and it was really bruised.)

Joe writing: The ladies were in nighties and the guys were down to their boxers. I stood and kissed “Stacy”, pulling her toward me. We are about the same height, so it was easy. Christy and “Chad” are about 18 inches  different in height, so they had to get on the bed right away to make it work for them. 

Stacy and I stood and kissed. I gently grabbed her hair and slowly rubbed my hands over her back. I slid one spaghetti strap off her shoulder, then the other. I kept coming back to her mouth to kiss her while going down to suck on her nipples. I backed her toward the bed and sat her down on it. I knelt down and she pulled her nighty up and over her head. I continued to suck on her nipples. (She’s a marathon runner with A-B breasts, and she’s a redhead.) I laid her back on the bed and I sucked on her pussy. I’m getting better at that. I did that for a few minutes. Then I used my fingers in her and then I let her grind on my chest while I kissed her mouth again and sucked on her tits. I then got the hitachi (which she’s said in the prelude that she likes to use to orgasm). Christy took a break from Chad to hold the Hitachi on Stacy’s clit while I played with the rest of her and two-fingered her. We made her cum hard!

She then asked what she could do for me. (Christy went back to playing with Chad. They fucked and sucked and were having a great time!) Stacy leaned over and gave me a blow job. I could’ve come in her mouth, but I really wanted to fuck her. I stood up and pulled her to standing. I lifted her up off the ground, and I backed up to the bed and sat down. She slid down on me. I scooted back on the bed and she was on top of me in the cowgirl position. She started grinding her pussy on my cock. I didn’t yet have a condom on, but she slipped me inside her anyway. I was a bit surprised by that because we’d all indicated earlier that we have condoms. The basic rule is that condoms are used unless everyone agrees not to. We’ve played with condoms every time other that the first two couples we played with 7 years ago. (In fact, Chad put on a condom while Christy gave him a BJ which is unusual for swingers. The default is no condom during blow jobs.) So there I was on my back with my bare dick in her pussy. She was grinding away on me and trusting all over me so hard. I was so ready to explode any second, but I still had one adult neuron that was functioning, so I said, “I’m about to cum in you, let me get a condom.” She said, “OK”, I put it on as fast as I could, then I pushed back inside her and she resumed her wild rocking. It didn’t take five seconds before I came, and I came hard and it kept cumming. Once I was done and could catch my breath, she dismounted and then I discovered that the condom came off inside her. I reached in and pulled it out. It seems like the cum was still inside the condom. I got up and took it to the bathroom.

When I came back, the women decided to share a feel-do (a special double-ended dildo that has a bulb on one end that goes in one woman’s pussy and the other end looks like a penis. That was the woman can be the “man” and the other woman can be the “woman”. Chad and I had to direct them how to use it. They both wanted their legs on the outside. I had Christy put the bulb in her, keep her legs together, and lay on her back. She was the “man”. Stacy rode her cowgirl. We then put a vibrating bullet between them on their clits. It was so awesome to watch! They both came so hard. (I even took photos, and no, you can’t see them.) Chad kissed Christy while his was was ridding her. And Chad jacked off watching it. So extremely hot!

Afterward, we all got dressed and we went to the hotel’s hot tub. We were planning on making out in the hot tub, but another hotel couple got in with us, so we had to play vanilla. 

We’re looking forward to hooking up with them again one night in the next couple of months.  

Friday, July 15, 2016

Written Boundaries

Joe and I talked a whole lot last night and this morning. He wrote an email telling Tori that the relationship was over. He wanted to send it last night. I told him to wait. I wanted to be the one to do it and to explain why. I didn't want him to take that from me. I wanted to be the one to appear strong. I met with Tori for lunch today. I was fully ready to tell her that it was over. Joe had asked that I tell him the moment the luncheon was over so that he could send the email demonstration our unity that it was over. I am 100% sure that that is what Joe thought would happen.

Here’s what happened. I told Tori that I wasn’t able to maturely handle the relationship between all of us and the professional relationship. She completely understood, and she was OK ending it. She admitted that she was attracted to both me and Joe and that her husband was attracted to me. She is very level headed and super chill and measured. She said that she was hoping to see where the relationships would go naturally, and she was very willing to comply with all my boundaries—she just didn’t know what they were, and in all honesty, I hadn’t previously told her. I’m just as bad a communicator with our swinging partners as Joe is with me. Joe is actually much better at communicating with our swinging partners than I am. I’m too much of a pleaser that I just let myself get railroaded over. The conversation with Tori was great. It was so empowering to me to be able to tell another woman what my boundaries are and that I expect them to be respected. I am 100% sure that Tori will respect them. Tori and I decided to continue the sexual relationship as long as we all are fine with the boundaries.

After the two-hour luncheon, I called Joe and immediately said, “Don’t send the email!” He was dejected. I could sense it. He had totally and completely become comfortable with ending the sexual relationship. I told him that I’d come home and get him and we’d go for a drive. During the drive, I presented him with the plan. I asked him if he wanted to go forward with it. He was genuinely hesitant. He feared that he’d screw up again and violate boundaries. He was insightful enough to recognize his potential for failure. But at the same time his 16-year old libido was begging him to try. He said he needed to think about it. He said that the boundaries would need to be written out so that he couldn’t later claim misunderstanding. He said that all the fine points needed to be addressed, and that penalties need to be set. We agreed that if the rules were too strict and the penalties too harsh, that there was no point in even trying—at some point his “stupid man” will take over, and he’ll step over a line for just a moment: (too many eggplant emojis in a text, too long a smile at her at work, etc) and then we’d be divorced. Neither of us wanted that.

So we sat down and created a written document. We “negotiated” by sending it back and forth between us until we both felt that it was complete. It was actually a very good exercise. I hope it works. He does too. I feel like we have both grown from doing this. We could have easily both agreed to halt the relationship, but we feel that it’s worth seeing if we can grow with it and allow it to make us into enlightened people. I like the idea of being a “sugar mama” and controlling the environment. I like being able to set the scene. And Joe loves sex with Tori (or any woman). So let’s see if we can both keep it together and follow our own rules.