Joe here. I think I’ve taken over permanently as the voice of this blog. I know that a lot of the male readers won’t like that. They want to hear Christy’s sultry “voice”, but alas, it’s me now. I’ll try to be balanced in my reporting. But since this experience is mine, you get to hear from me now.
I went on a date today. It was a real date--the first date with a woman since Christy and I were married. If you look over the past year, you’ll see times when I’ve gone and had sex with women alone, but I wouldn’t call those dates. In those other situations, those were planned sex experiences where the woman and I had texted A LOT in advance and it was VERY clear what would happen. This date today was picking a woman up at her door, taking her out to eat at a restaurant, and not being sure that we’d have sex afterward. I was nervous! What should I wear? Do I have chapstick? (I also wanted to try to have an actual get-to-know-you conversation. I didn't want to just conform myself to her desires to get into her pants. I wanted to say, "This is me. If you don't like me, then let's not pursue this." I wanted to actually have someone see me for who I am. This means that I've had to work on figuring out who I am.)
Let me back up and tell you that I’ve already had sex with this woman. We had sex at a party many months ago after meeting each other 15 minutes prior and exchanging two sentences. It was awesome sex. See the entry from Nov 2017. It's Bambi. Then, a month after that, Christy and I went out to dinner with her and her husband.
Since then, I’d tried to arrange for another opportunity to be with Bambi, but it just didn’t happen. Her menses, their travel, and other excuses kept coming up. I probably should have seen the clues that this woman wasn’t really into me. I then said on Wednesday, “Want to go out this Saturday or Sunday?” I figured that would give her a 48-hour window to choose from. On Thursday she said she couldn’t on Saturday but she’d ask her husband about Sunday. I heard nothing. Then on Saturday night when she texted and said, “I can’t on Sunday.” I thought, "Great, you tell me the night before that you can’t go out tomorrow? OK, we’re done. I’ve wasted too much time caring." She then says, “Some other time?” I’m thinking, "Seriously, I’m going to keep doing this?" But I'm a guy, so I say, “How about Tuesday at lunch?” She says yes. I say “11 am. . . “
Tuesday comes. At 9 am she texts to tell me that the school called to say that her son is sick and that she needs to go pick him up. OK. I’m done. Really done. I say, “No problem. That’s life.” And I’m ready to delete all record of her. Wouldn’t you at this point? I mean, come on!
Five minutes later she replies with a picture of her and her son in the car. (I zoomed in to see if I could tell if it’s a doctored photo. Is that her current hair color or is that an old photo?) Then she texts me to tell me that her husband offered to come home from work to watch their son so that she could go out with me. Holy Smokes! Yes! What an awesome husband. What other husband would leave work to come home and sit with their sick son so that his wife could go out with a guy? He deserves the Man-of-the-Year Award.
I went over and picked her up. Because her husband only had a couple of hours free, we didn’t have time for both sex and lunch. Being a gentleman, I said, “Let’s have lunch”. I think I made the right choice. I actually did want to get to know her better. I also wanted to show her that I'm more interested in her than just for sex. We had a nice lunch and we talked all about our interest in non-monogamy, our relationship rules, and our desires. It was a great conversation. I've never been so direct and bold and genuine with a woman whom I barely knew.
Afterward I came home, and Christy asked me “How many times did you orgasm.” I said “Zero. We didn’t have sex.” She said, "Wait, what?!! Why?"
Christy and I then had one of the best conversations we’ve ever had. I did most of the talking. I told her all the things that Bambi and I talked about on our date and how I put Christy’s desires first. I made it very clear to Bambi what the situation would be and how to go forward. I knew that I could be torpedoing the relationship, but the more I talked and the more concrete I was, the more Bambi agreed with me. It felt like the start of something wonderful. This situation has the possibility of being a very good one. It’s going to be a question of how much time we are all willing to commit to the relationships. But let's cross our fingers that we can make the six relationships work: M1F1, M1F2, M2F1, M2F2, F1F2, M1M2. In a simple monogamous relationship there's only one relationship: M1F1. When you have four people, there are six relationships. The odds that they'll ALL be good is SO unlikely and will require a LOT of work.