Sunday, July 30, 2017

Solo Play Review - and Our First Full-Swap Couple, Again

We're done.

Done with the experiment. Not the marriage. The marriage is fine. (See how I got you worried? Like a bad movie teaser.) We're OK. On that day, I left him at the hotel room at 10 am. I had told him that I wouldn't text him during the day. I told him that I would like him to come back before falling asleep. I didn't want him sleeping with her. I went to the mall, then a museum, then a park with outdoor art. It started raining, and my mind started worrying and going places. I started to get a bit more jealous that I'd expected. I emailed him at 2 pm that I was back in the hotel room. He didn't reply to my email until 6 pm to tell me this "Saw your email. I worried about you in the rain. She didn't arrive until almost 2 pm. All is well. I love you so incredibly much from the bottom of my heart. You are the most amazing woman in the world. I hope you still love me too."  I was a bit bugged that I'd left the room at 10 am thinking that he was with her immediately after that, but that he was alone in the room for four hours without telling me. My mind continued to go to dark places. At about 7 pm he texted me..

Joe: "How are you? I see that you're still in the hotel room"
Me: "Yes"
Joe: "I'm worried about you."
Me: "Just watching TV. going to sleep."
Joe: "How are you mentally"
Me: "I don't want to talk about it." (He knew I wasn't doing well.)
Joe: "I'm coming back to you very soon". (He later said that this was his way of saying, "I sense a problem so I'm cancelling the rest of the time with Brittany and coming home to save our marriage now.)
Me: "Take your time. I'm fine. Just going to sleep." (I wasn't fine, but he took this as permission to take all the time he wants because i'm going to sleep."
Joe: "I really love you"

At 10:30 pm
Me: "Woke up and see you still aren't here. Trying to go back to sleep. I think our definitions of 'very soon' are different!" (He realized that the experience was over and he hurried back. I’m going to paste in some of what he wrote about the experience.

Joe here. I intentionally didn’t make a lot of plans for that day with Brittany. The more plans we had, the more Christy would want to know and worry about the plans. So no plans = less worry. Once Christy left the hotel room, I called Brittany and said said that she’d be a bit late coming by. (Late turned into almost four hours). She got a hotel room at another hotel. She picked me up in her car. We kissed in the car and she drove us to her hotel. We didn’t get into the room until almost 4 pm. We made out and got hot and heavy, but we put off sex until after we got lunch. She hadn’t eaten. We went down to the hotel bar and got some food and talked for a while. She knew that I’d NEVER done anything like this, and I expressed my anxiety for myself and for my wife. Brittany knows my wife pretty well and very much respects her. She genuinely doesn’t want to hurt our marriage. She said that she is genuinely attracted to me. That was VERY flattering. I’ve never had ANYONE other than my wife express attraction to me in that way. I do not consider myself good looking. We went back up to the room and had sex. It was good and fun. We sat and talked (naked) and had sex again. (I was able to get a second erections, but couldn’t orgasm a second time.) I saw the email from Christy and responded. We then went down to dinner. Dinner took a while— kitchen problems. We walked around the hotel and talked about her life and her boyfriend. (He knows that she and I were meeting. Their relationship was/is strained.) I then texted Christy the 7 pm texts. Brittany and I went back to the hotel room and played again. We used condoms. (He boyfriend has problems with erectile dysfunction. He’s come out as bisexual, and she thinks he may be gay. So the sex with him isn’t as passionate she says. — My wife and I know him. Christy has played with him and can vouch that this is all correct.) Brittany had texted me weeks before about a fantasy she has about me having sex with her and then pulling out and cuming on her chest. So I did. Yes, it was super hot! She is extremely into sex and has a massive libido. I then got the text from Christy at 10:30 and hustled back to our hotel room.

Back in our room, Christy was in the bed in the dark. I slipped in and slipped into bed next to her, gave her a hug and said, “I love you.” She responded with “OK” and not hugging me back. I realized that she was not doing well. She did not want to talk. I took two Benadryl and went to bed. She sent me a long text at midnight that I didn’t see until morning. I’ll just paraphrase it: “I’m not processing this well. I keep imaging what you and she did all day and I worry that you did things that triggered my jealousy. I also feel bad that we didn’t communicate more about the day. I’m glad you did this, but I wish I’d been kept more in the loop and checked in with me.”

Christy here again. That’s all accurate. I was hoping that he’s involve me more in the updates and tell me what was going on. We failed to be that specific in advance. The following day I was a bit quiet. Joe and I did go out and go shopping. Oh, we tried to have sex first that morning. It was “apology sex” on his part. I wasn’t super into it, but I let him do it. He was having a hard time orgasming and then he starting crying during sex because he felt so bad that he couldn’t orgasm with me that morning. He said he felt like he HAD to orgasm to show me that he loved me and that if he didn’t that I’d end our marriage. He was being silly. He put himself under so much pressure that he couldn’t climax. It was fine. We went out shopping and walked around the town. It took all day, but we got back to normal. We talked A LOT about the experience. He was sensitive to not tell me all the hot details. He put my mind at ease. Brittany texted me to see how I was. I convinced her that I was fine after Joe had texted her that I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I would do. By that evening, I really was fine and we both texted Brittany to let her know that all was well. We had planned on going out with her that evening together, but Joe and I decided that we’d just spend the evening with just the two of us. He proved to me that he really does love me and puts me first. Technically he followed the rules that we’d agreed upon. After the experience I discovered that I did need more involvement and that 12 hours was too much for me. It gave my mind too much time to worry. I’m up to doing it again, but let’s start with 2-4 hours next time or have him check in with me every few hours to update me on things.


One week later. Look at this post on our blog from 2011. This was the first couple we’d ever had a full-swap with: Brandy and Justin. In the six years since then, they’d joined the military and had a second child. They’d moved a few times with the military, then they got out and are back here. They messaged us asking if we wanted to meet. They kindly said that he were their favorite sex parters. They convinced us that they thought it was true. They were very young the first time 20/21 years old. (Too young for us in retrospect.) We met them for dinner on July 28, 2017. When we saw them in person, they have aged VERY well. Two VERY hot people. (I must say that we have aged well too.) We talked about what we’ve all been doing for the past six years and where life has taken us. He’s a very nice shy, gentle guy. She’s outgoing and smoking sexy! She’s had a very boyfriends over the years and has played solo. After dinner, we went to the hotel room that we’d arranged for. We sat and talked for a while longer—always allowing for the women to take the lead. Men know that they are to not be pushy. That can be frustrating to the women but it balances the risk of being assaulted. At a long pause in the conversation, then a sexy glance, the women quickly jumped on the opposite men. Brandy with Joe and me with Justin. We each took a different bed. The sex was hot and the positions exciting. The passion was perfect. Everybody orgasmed—the women multiple times. It was exactly the kind of experience that swingers desire—in every way. Pure perfection. We all really like each other. — Challenges: we live 70 miles from each other, so frequent outings are a challenge. There is a significant age difference, and they have very little money, so we need to pay every time. None of this is a huge problem, but it doesn’t lend itself to the easiest of maintaining a perfect friendship. 

The next morning (yesterday), they texted and asked if they could meet us again next weekend.Two weekends in a row with the same couple is usually a bit much for us, and I do have other commitments with relatives next weekend. Joe told them that we couldn’t next weekend because I was busy. They then wrote back and asked if Joe could play with them in a MFM threesome. I actually told him that I was fine with that. Joe was surprised that I let him — especially after last weekend. He’s nervous to have the husband there. Joe has no same-sex attraction. He’s not phobic, but it doesn’t appeal to him, and he’s worried about performance why being watched by Justin. But they’re all going to do it. We’ll see how it goes.


In full discloser, there’s one thing we should add about the experience with Brandy and Justin. Look back at our post in 2011. We didn’t use condoms with them in 2011, nor with the couple immediately after that in 2011. Since then, we never played again  without condoms—until this past Friday night. Brandy and Justin both pushed on without condoms and we (Joe and I) both let it happen. Just before Joe came (he told me the next day), he leaned in and asked her “how do you avoid pregnancy?” Given that he was just about to climax, he was proud of himself for having the minimal presence of mind to at least have a coherent sentence. Brandy replied, “I’m fixed. We both are.” Then Joe came in her. My experience with Justin was similar. I was so overcome with orgasms that I didn’t even notice or care that he didn’t have a condom on. It just felt SOOO good. And he came in me. (I’m fixed too. Hysterectomy.) We actually do believe them that they are sterile. — Both Joe and I avoided talking about it until at dinner last night when he brought it up. We both shrugged. We know that it wasn’t right. We know that we need to get tested again for STDs. We know that we shouldn’t do it again without condoms. — I also know that this is what most readers are going to harp on us about when reading this post. - We just looked it up. To cover most of the STD’s we will wait 4 weeks to get tested, unless we have symptoms sooner. By 4 weeks, the incubation period will have past, so either we’ll test positive, or we’ll likely be in the clear. 


  1. I've been in MFM before, but the F was my wife. She would play with some of the guys on her own, so I understand some of what Christy has been feeling. Since none of us were much interested in the other guy, my wife was the center of attention. She said at times it was so intense with both men doing things to her that she could just barely stand it. I think it would be very intense if as part of a full swap, all three of the others would be doing things for just one. This would entail guys doing things for guys and if that is just not something wanted, just doing it for each of the women would still be great. Since we are now monogamous again I won't be participating in something like that, but maybe Joe and Christy could find a way and tell us about it, or maybe someone reading this has had that experience.

  2. I don't follow the jealousy issue. Is this wrong?