Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Writing a Craigslist Ad


Here's quick little lesson on what I think is important when writing an ad on Craigslist when looking for other swingers.

First, don't get defensive or threatening.  Posts get flagged and removed all the time for who-knows what reason.  Don't let it get to you.  Sometimes I think that those companies who post fake ads flag the really good ads (like mine) because they don't want real competition.  Be prepared to write 2-3 similar ads and repost them when one gets flagged by another user.

An ad with a cropped photo gets tons more attention.  If you post 2-3 ads, don't use the same photo multiple ads--people will recognize that you're posting multiple times, then flag all your ads.

HWP means height and weight proportionate.  If you show photos of both of you, you don't need to state the obvious.  If you don't show photos, you should list your height and weight, you could also say how fit you are, but be honest.  We do post our real ages, but may change them by a year or two in a second ad.

DDF means drug and disease free.  I used to think, who would post anything other than this?  But then I saw someone recently post that they are both HSV positive with rare outbreaks.  I appreciated the honesty.  If condoms are must, say so.

I think the best thing is to write intelligently.  This can get hard after your tenth ad.  If it sounds rushed, desperate  and defensive ("don't flag me man!"), then who wants to date that?

In the title, we keep it simple and straight forward "Couple for Couple", or "Same-room Soft-swap on Saturday", or "This Friday Downtown Girl-on-Girl"

We like to express our desires in the ad: "we have a room at a nice hotel for Friday night, and we're looking for a couple to meet up with.  Let's meet for dinner and then assuming we all click, we'll go up to the room to play.  We enjoy same-room full-swap."

We often add that I'm bisexual and he's straight, and that we're non-smokers.  We also say that "we're up for just about anything other than pain."  (After a few emails back and forth, we may say that we have a profile on some of the swinger sites, but many couples are skiddish about being urged to go to a website--they may think it's a scam to get them to give out their credit-card information.)

Express your desire for photos.  We often say, "please send photos and we'll do the same.  No genital shots please.  Rated G are great."  I hate it when guys send photos of their penis and nothing else.  I really don't care about penis size, and I don't want to play with a couple who thinks that's their most interesting feature.

We usually conclude with a commitment to have the two women "voice verify" once we all see each others photos and interests.  There's nothing worse than spending days exchanging emails just to discover that they're not going to ever talk on the phone and meet.  Once you know you want to meet them, get on the phone with them.

As a farce, we once wrote an ad that was the epitome of junk ads and all that is bad about Craigslist.  It got a lot of responses from people who enjoyed the irony.

"We're a middle-aged couple who says that we're 21. I'm a hostile homophobic woman with short dull hair, bra size 46A, quite obese, 4'11". I gag often. My husband is an effeminate reclusive with a small penis  (see the 10 photos below), but he's in really good shape. (Round is a shape). We never shave and rarely bathe, so we keep that musky animalistic aura that we know you love. We say we do full-swap, but we'll change our minds frequently during the night.  We've had most STDs and we hate condoms, so you don't have to worry about giving us anything new. We bring drama to most encounters, and expect you to watch it when it happens. It's likely that one of us will freak out at something and storm out, and the other will get drunk and sullen and not leave without telling you about all the other bad experiences we've had. Did we mention that we can't host, and we don't have a car, so you'll have to pick us up and let us spend a night or two in your guest room until you lend us cab fare, which we'll claim to repay at our next play-date, to which we'll no-show. We can voice verify, but whenever you call, I'll be at work, so you'll only ever talk to my husband. We can send pictures, but they're not of us. Please send us photos of you so we can send them to others and claim them as our own. When you reply to this email, don't expect an intelligible response because it will only be a robot responding.  You'll then need to give me your credit card information so I can show you my fake photos on an overseas porn site.  And don't flag this ad, because I'm real."

If you're going to post on CL, you should create an email address that you can use just for this purpose.  It will get tons of spam.

Also, know that half of the responses you get to your ad will be fakes.  You'll have to learn for yourself how to know the real ones from the fakes.  Once you start replying to them, you'll learn.  The good fakes will keep you hooked for at least 2-3 exchanges.  You'll figure out that they're robots when they don't respond to your specific questions.  Some guys will just want to share photos or webcam.  Some people require that a code word be put in the subject line of any replies, but that could weed out some hot, lazy people.  We prefer to get ALL the responses and then we'll reply to those we think are real.  We respond best to those who send photos in the first reply.  We'll say, "your photo gets ours."  For the most part, we don't reply to any email unless there's a photo, especially if we put a photo in our ad.  If they send a face photo, we reply with a photo (cropped or full-face).


Friday, November 23, 2012

Typical Date

We sure are writing a lot today.  I just saw what Joe wrote while I was writing this.  It's pretty common to have a couple back out of a date a day or two before, so it's best to not put all your eggs in one basket.  We would never promise two couples that we'd meet and then cancel one of them, but it's not unheard of to tell one couple "we don't yet know if we'll be free that night, but we'd like to keep chatting with you in case we can get free and if you're still available."  That way, you don't burn a bridge with a hot couple by saying, "no thanks, we picked someone else and we're not choosing you" and then at the last minute you call them back and say, "hey, the first couple bailed on us, so are you still available?"  I mention all this because this is a copy of the email that I just wrote to our backup couple.  They asked us what we like in an evening, and I thought it worth posting here.

We kind of like meeting over dinner somewhere and getting to know each other.  It's nice for us women to talk on the phone first.  Usually by taking on the phone and reading each other's profiles, we kind of know that we have the same boundaries.  At dinner, if everyone is having fun, then we go up to the hotel room.  If at dinner, someone isn't feeling it, then we just say so, but so far it's never happened, but if it did, we wouldn't take offense.  Up in the room, we can order dessert and keep chatting.  Then we find a way to make it to the bedroom and us women undress and get cozy or we two take a bath together.  (I orgasm easily and often).  Then we invite the guys to join us on the bed and we women move back and forth between our guys--maybe I give oral to my husband while your husband does me from behind.  I have to be honest: my husband has a hard time holding back from cuming once he goes in another woman.  It only takes a couple of minutes of thrusting.  That's why he makes sure that the other woman has had as many orgasms from his mouth, fingers, toys, my mouth, my fingers, our double-ended dildo between us, and you husband's cock, before he cums in you.  We sometimes enjoy anal sex, but we've never tried it with another couple and we'd never be pushy about it.  Usually after I've come 10 times with you and your husband, and then my husband cums once with you, we sit back and relax for a few minutes and then 10 minutes later, he's ready for a final round with either you or me, and I'm always good for another 10 unless I've been contorted into a pretzel too much already.  Then everyone sort of gets dressed and chats and laughs and basks in the glow before hugging good night.
Joe here.  A couple of days ago, she and I had talked about setting up a date.  We posted an ad and watched the replies roll in.  In our opinion, there's a good way and a bad way to write a swinger ad.  But the best thing is to include photos, cropped photos, and don't show your crotch.  Any way, we'd had a good deal of responses to our ad, and we'd been chatting online with a few of these couples.  Then just about an hour ago, we got an email from the first couple who we'd full-swapped with in July 2011 (see the post below).  They saw our ad on Craigslist and wanted to know if we wanted to play with them.  We did have a great time with them the first time because it was the first time for us.  But Christy felt a little jealous about the way that I was touching the other woman's knee after I had sex with her.  Christy wasn't jealous about me having had sex with her, but with the way I touched her knee.  Weird, but I understood.  So we didn't really try to play with them again.  And when I got the email today, I was just going to ignore it.  But I just mentioned it to Christy, just now and then went on to mention some other people who had also emailed us.  I then got called to the backyard by the kids.  Just a moment later, I got a text from Christy which says, 

"I have been thinking about it and decided we should play with ______ and ______.  It's hot that they want us this much and kind of cute that she has a crush on you.  It's making me wet to think about; as long as I'm the alpha!!"

Of course, I quickly wrote them back and we set it up!

Black Friday

I refuse to go out shopping today.  It's so much better to sit home and find all the deals on Amazon online.  Yesterday was a lot of fun with all the relatives over at my house cooking together, and the one relative who was dressed most like a skank was not me!  I'm so deep in the closet, no one would ever guess.

The other reason why it's good for me to be at the computer is that I can cruise the swinger websites: Kasidie, SDC, Swingular, and Craigslist (I don't like SLS--they're HUGE, but I just can navigate their messy site).  We're looking for a date.  Now that we've being doing this for a while, we've gotten a bit picky.  We won't just jump into the sack with anyone.  It's not that we're looking for a super hot couple, cause heaven knows that's not us either.  But we would like some nice.  I don't like facial hair, and they have to not look like snobs, and they shouldn't be super old.  And best of all, they have to be able to communicate.  I hate getting those emails from the guy that says "We r  at hilton  till 8 4 and  find us  Shes tight  IM huge!!"  That's actually an email that I got after I answered a Craigslist ad.  Needless to say, I neither understood it nor responded, even though he was smoking hot!!  I actually am turned on by a guy's brain and kindness.

Anyway, in addition to thinking about us getting naked on a bed with another couple and doing it every which way, it's time to start planning the Christmas holiday.  I've got to think about getting the guest room ready (again) for the next round of visitors, and deciding if we're going to take everyone to Soldier's Hollow for sledding or maybe somewhere else for snowmobiling.

If you've never seen this video about swinging, it's great:

Becoming a Swinger