Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Writing a Craigslist Ad

Here's quick little lesson on what I think is important when writing an ad on Craigslist when looking for other swingers.

First, don't get defensive or threatening.  Posts get flagged and removed all the time for who-knows what reason.  Don't let it get to you.  Sometimes I think that those companies who post fake ads flag the really good ads (like mine) because they don't want real competition.  Be prepared to write 2-3 similar ads and repost them when one gets flagged by another user.

An ad with a cropped photo gets tons more attention.  If you post 2-3 ads, don't use the same photo multiple ads--people will recognize that you're posting multiple times, then flag all your ads.

HWP means height and weight proportionate.  If you show photos of both of you, you don't need to state the obvious.  If you don't show photos, you should list your height and weight, you could also say how fit you are, but be honest.  We do post our real ages, but may change them by a year or two in a second ad.

DDF means drug and disease free.  I used to think, who would post anything other than this?  But then I saw someone recently post that they are both HSV positive with rare outbreaks.  I appreciated the honesty.  If condoms are must, say so.

I think the best thing is to write intelligently.  This can get hard after your tenth ad.  If it sounds rushed, desperate  and defensive ("don't flag me man!"), then who wants to date that?

In the title, we keep it simple and straight forward "Couple for Couple", or "Same-room Soft-swap on Saturday", or "This Friday Downtown Girl-on-Girl"

We like to express our desires in the ad: "we have a room at a nice hotel for Friday night, and we're looking for a couple to meet up with.  Let's meet for dinner and then assuming we all click, we'll go up to the room to play.  We enjoy same-room full-swap."

We often add that I'm bisexual and he's straight, and that we're non-smokers.  We also say that "we're up for just about anything other than pain."  (After a few emails back and forth, we may say that we have a profile on some of the swinger sites, but many couples are skiddish about being urged to go to a website--they may think it's a scam to get them to give out their credit-card information.)

Express your desire for photos.  We often say, "please send photos and we'll do the same.  No genital shots please.  Rated G are great."  I hate it when guys send photos of their penis and nothing else.  I really don't care about penis size, and I don't want to play with a couple who thinks that's their most interesting feature.

We usually conclude with a commitment to have the two women "voice verify" once we all see each others photos and interests.  There's nothing worse than spending days exchanging emails just to discover that they're not going to ever talk on the phone and meet.  Once you know you want to meet them, get on the phone with them.

As a farce, we once wrote an ad that was the epitome of junk ads and all that is bad about Craigslist.  It got a lot of responses from people who enjoyed the irony.

"We're a middle-aged couple who says that we're 21. I'm a hostile homophobic woman with short dull hair, bra size 46A, quite obese, 4'11". I gag often. My husband is an effeminate reclusive with a small penis  (see the 10 photos below), but he's in really good shape. (Round is a shape). We never shave and rarely bathe, so we keep that musky animalistic aura that we know you love. We say we do full-swap, but we'll change our minds frequently during the night.  We've had most STDs and we hate condoms, so you don't have to worry about giving us anything new. We bring drama to most encounters, and expect you to watch it when it happens. It's likely that one of us will freak out at something and storm out, and the other will get drunk and sullen and not leave without telling you about all the other bad experiences we've had. Did we mention that we can't host, and we don't have a car, so you'll have to pick us up and let us spend a night or two in your guest room until you lend us cab fare, which we'll claim to repay at our next play-date, to which we'll no-show. We can voice verify, but whenever you call, I'll be at work, so you'll only ever talk to my husband. We can send pictures, but they're not of us. Please send us photos of you so we can send them to others and claim them as our own. When you reply to this email, don't expect an intelligible response because it will only be a robot responding.  You'll then need to give me your credit card information so I can show you my fake photos on an overseas porn site.  And don't flag this ad, because I'm real."

If you're going to post on CL, you should create an email address that you can use just for this purpose.  It will get tons of spam.

Also, know that half of the responses you get to your ad will be fakes.  You'll have to learn for yourself how to know the real ones from the fakes.  Once you start replying to them, you'll learn.  The good fakes will keep you hooked for at least 2-3 exchanges.  You'll figure out that they're robots when they don't respond to your specific questions.  Some guys will just want to share photos or webcam.  Some people require that a code word be put in the subject line of any replies, but that could weed out some hot, lazy people.  We prefer to get ALL the responses and then we'll reply to those we think are real.  We respond best to those who send photos in the first reply.  We'll say, "your photo gets ours."  For the most part, we don't reply to any email unless there's a photo, especially if we put a photo in our ad.  If they send a face photo, we reply with a photo (cropped or full-face).


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