I got this today via email. We've been chatting all day, and I've learned so much about her. We are very alike. We've even divulged more of our identities to each other--"golden handcuffs"--to prove ourselves to each other. Here's Veronica's story.
Hello, I just discovered your blog, and I am in shock at the similarities to our lives. I am an active LDS woman with several kids living in a non-LDS part of the US. My husband and I met in college, and we've been married for 17 years. Ups and downs throughout our marriage, but the past year has been AMAZING....and this past year is VERY similar to your 2009 and 2010 posts.
I had always had a little bit of "bi" curiosity....wondering what a woman's nipple would feel like on my tongue, how a breast would feel in my hand, etc...but never dreamed I'd act on it. My husband is a great husband, father and provider, but was less "devout" than me about church. He was always active, performed his callings, hit-and-miss on home teaching, and just "liked" being LDS. He was exposed to porn as a teen and looked at it regularly in his younger years. He looked at it a couple times in our early marriage, and as an insecure woman, I FREAKED, threatened to leave him, etc. (Wow, thinking back, I can't believe how I acted...) I met him my freshman year of college, during his senior year at a small regional university.
About a year ago, we were having some stress in our marriage and decided we were going to get away for a long weekend - no kids, just us - 4 days together in Vegas. On the flight there, he suggested seeing an erotic revue, a topless show or something. I was intrigued, but said that I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself. I hinted that maybe some alcoholic beverages (I'd only tasted a couple times in my life before I was baptized) might help me lose enough inhibitions... I thought he would freak that I suggested it ... Instead, he acted like it was no big deal. He said "fine by me" and called the flight attendant over. He asked what I liked those times I'd drank in college. I got some vodka and orange juice. We decided this would be a "one time stays-in-Vegas" event. (the alcohol.)
With the alcohol, the sex was SO MUCH MORE FUN!!!! I orgasm so much with it, and my husband describes me as being "in a ditch" without it. He describes having to "rock the car out of the ditch" - that it takes lots and lots of foreplay before I really get into sex. I totally understand why the church teaches against it, because it truly influenced me to do things that I would not have done otherwise. My husband and I came to an agreement........that alcohol was dangerous, that the church was wise to tell us to avoid it, but that we could keep it safe by agreeing that I would only drink in his presence, and it was only as a "sexual tool", almost like my Viagra for women. It relaxes me so much, that I want LOTS and LOTS of sex.
It looks like you have not included alcohol, but for us, we feel it is okay, when it is used "medicinally" ;) Sort of like we'd have no problem with a man taking Viagra as he got older. (Yeah, justifications.....but we all make them for what we like to do.)
So, back to my story... We went to a show in Vegas called Fantasy at the Luxor. It really piqued my interest. The women were beautiful, and I really liked the show and was surprised just how many other women were there watching. (no single women, but lots of couples and single men.) As we were leaving the show, I suggested that we go check out a Vegas strip club. I figured, we're being wild on this one weekend - if not now, when? He wasted no time at all getting a taxi to take us to Sapphire. He had gone to strip clubs a few times in college and hadn't ever expected to get me to go (remembering my previous porn freakouts).
Holy heck! I had no idea. I had no idea that lap dances had so much grinding..... I had always thought there was distance between the patron and dancers, uh, no!!! He told me later he was very nervous that things were "going to go off the rails". He refused lap dances, kept ordering the alcohol for me while he drank Diet Coke, etc. (He has never drunk alcohol BTW.) A couple girls offered dances, but it wasn't until about 3 drinks, that I lost enough inhibitions to enjoy a lap-dance....and enjoy it I did.
I too discovered that I had a HUGE ENJOYMENT of exhibitionism. I had some ridiculously "high-mileage" lap dances that probably should have been in the VIP room. The men all around were REALLY enjoying the show. The girls would give me a dance, then all the men would want a dance from her.....good for business, and the bouncers watched and never stopped anything. I had multiple orgasms right out there in front of all those people! I ended up getting dances for a couple hours and my husband LOVED IT!!!!!!! We went back to our hotel room and had some of the best sex we'd had in a long time.
Turns out that night woke the bi-sexual beast inside me!!!! :) We decided that maybe we would get away once every year or so to Vegas, and this would be our "Vegas secret".
So anyway, we came back home, but I couldn't stop thinking about women....and I wanted more - I wanted to go further. We started going to strip clubs. At first we went to some of the surrounding cities, then we started going locally....and my interest grew and grew and grew. We've probably visited 10 strip clubs in the last year. Each time it was a similar scene - I would get the dances, my husband would have a great time watching, but he wouldn't participate.
I think he was worried that he would "break" this new phase. He told me later that he was super excited to have gotten this far. He didn't press for any more, just enjoyed watching girls dance for me. Eventually, I convinced him to get lap dances and that I wouldn't be jealous. It surprised me that I LOVED seeing it.
I kept wanting more. I wanted to actually make out with a woman - kiss her, feel her body. If anything visits to the strip clubs could be a little frustrating in that regards. We talked about getting an escort, but my fear of possibly being arrested wiped that idea right out of my mind! (I could just imaging having my name appear in a Google search by our children 5 years from now).
That all changed when we found out that prostitution is not illegal in Canada!!!!!!! Pimping and brothels are illegal. "Street walkers" are illegal. But escorts - both in-call and out-call are fully legal. They're allowed to advertise on the internet....and making visits to your hotel room is not illegal AT ALL!!! I was intrigued. ;)
We ordered passports and started planning (and fantasizing). To not give away our location at this point, I'll just say it was within driving distance to Montreal. I tell you, the larger cities in Canada are like an adult DISNEY LAND!!!! Holy crap.. - beautiful women - lots of them! And it was only $250 - $500 an hour for classy, well reviewed escorts. WOW. OH MY GOSH!!
This weekend was everything I fantasized about...but better. i hadn't imagined that it would be so guilt and jealousy-free. Amazing threesomes. We saw three amazing ladies that weekend. (This was just a few weeks ago.)
I was SO CONCERNED that seeing my husband touching another woman would cause me some serious issues. My husband closely observed me to make sure I was okay the whole time, and instead of being bothered by it, it just made me FREAKING HORNY to see him doing the things to these beautiful women that he does to me. I had a FABULOUS TIME!!! I just can't get enough. Our sexual passion has just grown all the more after this weekend. I can't wait to experience it all again.
We aren't sure if we are going to jump to full swinging stuff or not....but it's been an amazing journey thus far. Our marriage is better than ever....and my husband can't keep his hands off me. I am just floored seeing that there is a similar couple out there with the same religious values who have had the same experiences.