Christy walked out the door about five minutes ago to go meet Brad for sex. She booked a hotel room nearby.
All morning long, she was getting more and more anxious. This was manifest by her talking less and less and deflecting when I tried to talk about it. I could sense that she was on the fence. I knew that she was in knots even though she wasn’t showing it. She was bottling it up. I knew that it was best that I try to not have us talk about it.
She showed me the texts that she and he were exchanging this morning. It was mostly scheduling and planning. Not much in the way of flirting on her part, but maybe just a little. He was definitely more excited that she was. I could tell that she was getting anxious.
I stayed away from her for the last couple of hours. I asked her (via text) if I could help with anything. She told me that she was getting freaked out about his size and was sick to her stomach and getting a headache. I asked her if she needed to cancel, and I told her that she should. She told me that she’s doing this totally for me. I do feel bad if that’s 100% the case. When we’ve spoken about this over the last couple of days, she said that she was doing it for her also. We’ll see how this goes. It could go many ways: anywhere from really bad to really good and anywhere in between.
When Christy came out of the room just before leaving, she had a nice dress on and was made-up very pretty. She had her bag with her that I suspect had sex toys and lube in it. She smiled at me with a smile of worry and anxiety. She said, “I’ll be back later.” Some of that cryptic-talk was for the ears of kids down the hall. Then she walked out the door like she’s going to do something she doesn’t want to do. (Should I add that as she left, Sacrament meeting was underway? None of us made it to church today.)
She just got to the hotel room and texted me the room number. She texted me to tell me that he’s running a few minutes late due to traffic. Once he gets to the room, she’ll text me to let me know, then 75 minutes later I’ll call her. If she doesn’t answer, then I’ll go over there and knock on the door.
No matter what happens, we’re already on a path that is brand new. And it’s happening right now.