On the Swinger Cruise!!

We’re really into the swing of things here on the cruise.  We weren’t surprised at how old some of the people were, we were just hoping that there would be more young people.  The average here appears to be late 40’s, blue-collar business owner.  We did a little window shopping along the promenade and went to dinner.  We were sat at a table with two other couples and we chatted about cruises, squirting, and our children.  This was not their first swinger cruise.  Toward the end of dinner, I was feeling queasy, so I excused myself and came back to the room to take some motion sickness meds and lie down.After a nap, we went around to the doors of people we have met online and left little gifts on their door, then we went to the Pharaoh’s lounge.  It was a beautifully decorated room that was filled with people having sex.  I’d never seen an orgy like that. 

It’s now Monday, day two.  This is a sea day, meaning that we’re just traveling.  We arrive in Haiti tomorrow morning.  We slept in to noon since we stayed up until 2 am last night watching movies (nothing dirty) in our cabin.  There was a class that Christy wanted to attend today, so we put on some clothes and went to it.

At dinner yesterday, one of the couples is nudists and they also go on nudist cruise.

Today we have spa treatments at 5:30, then we’re hoping to meet some people for dinner.  It’s quite a challenge to meet up with people here.  They have couples speed dating (which we missed at 11 am).  We should have attended that because it’s hard to go from 0 to 60 in a short elevator ride.  To meet people for dinner, we picked 5 couples who we thought were hot (based on their profiles on Kasidie, Facebook, or their card left on our door).  Christy had me take invitations to the cabins of 6 hot couples, inviting them to join us for dinner at 7:30 pm.  So, whoever shows up, we’ll eat with them and then maybe have sex with them.  We’ll see.

It’s Tuesday.  We slept in until 11 am.  We’ll actually I got up an hour earlier and went running on the track on the top of the ship.  Then I came back and got Christy up and we walked off the ship at Labadee Haiti.  More about that in a moment.  At dinner last night, we met up with three couples.  We all were dressed very formal.  Tuxedos and gowns.  The dining room is magnificent and everyone was super sexy and dressed to the nines.  It looked like what I imagine the Titanic looked like.  After dinner, we came back to the room (just the two of us), with the plans to meet up with the others at midnight.  But Christy was tired and after taking a nap wasn’t able to pull herself out of bed.  We’ll have to find those couples today and apologize.  While Christy slept, I wandered down to Studio B.  It’s a night club which also serves as an ice-skating rink.  It was just like a Vegas club with the music and dancing and the women were topless—well, some of them were.  I left after a few minutes then went to the conference rooms which have been transformed into a porn room, a chocolate room, and a dungeon.  I just peaked in.  I wouldn’t do anything without my wife.  I also went to the ship’s library to read.  As you can imagine, it’s completely empty at midnight when everyone else is at a party or sleeping.

Back to today, we got off the boat in Haiti at noon and joined an excursion to see some local culture.  There were about 30 people on this tour.  We had to take a little boat around to a cove.  There are no roads on this part of the island.  The only way to get to these little villages is by boat.  The mountains are too steep and there is so much vegetation.  The little village had homes make from  little logs (they told us that 30% of people in Haiti — 3,000,000 people, live this way).  There is no running water, sewer, or electricity.  The beach was BEAUTIFUL!!  And we ate some of the local food and learned about the island.  There were maybe 10 homes in the area.  Everything they need has to be brought by boat.  And there’s no phone service.  It’s the most remote and pristine place I’ve ever been.  I highly recommend it.  It’s called the “Haitian Cultural Tour”.  I’m sure that if you want to do it, you’ll have to be on a Royal Caribbean cruise.

We’re back in the cabin now.  The ship is on it’s way to Jamaica.  Tonight we’ll be going to the Super Heroes and Villains party on the pool deck.  Maybe we’ll get lucky!!  

Swinger Cruise sets sail tomorrow.

Still Joe here.  We're in Cape Canaveral staying at a nice little hotel.  Tomorrow morning, we take the shuttle over to the port where we and 4,000 other people board the "Freedom of the Seas" swinger cruise.  We are nervous and excited.  We're going to take a nap now.  To know more about what we'll be up to, watch this video.

Couples Cruise tips

More Cruise Prep

This is the day that I get the things on the last-minute shopping list and stuff them into the suitcases that have been in the car since arriving in Denver a couple of days ago, then tomorrow Christy arrives from SLC and I meet her at the airport and we continue the journey to Orlando airport, then on to the swinger cruise!

Cruise Prep

This is Joe.  I'm going to be writing and updating this info as we go along for the next week.  I've taken this week off to get ready for the cruise and to fly out to Denver to visit family for a few days.  Christy still has to work a few more days, then she'll be joining me on Friday and we'll fly together to Orlando.  (We've told everyone that we're going to Disney World).  We get to Port Canaveral pretty late on Saturday and then we board the swinger cruise.  We have (and will have) more than enough "evidence" that we'll be at Walt Disney World for the week, to show people when we get home if they get nosy.

So, we're going on the Couples Cruise.  If you don't know what that is, it's a huge Royal Caribbean ship with up to 4,000 people (plus staff) on board.  We got tickets after hearing from people who went on it last year.  On the ship, they allow nudity and they have big play rooms in which couples can have sex with others.  We've been on a few cruises, but never one like this.  We're excited and nervous.  We're not super outgoing, and even if we were, we'd still be a bit anxious about being "trapped" with thousands of others who are interested in having sex with others.

Hollywood Hills Sex Party Last Night!!

We flew into Orange County to drive home a car that a friend had purchased at auction.  While here, we were planning on meeting up with some other friends that we’d first met at a Vegas sex party, but yesterday afternoon, the husband wasn’t feeling well, so they decided to stay in.  So we searched online and found a party that was being hosted at a huge mansion in the Hollywood Hills.  (See MassPleasures.com)  It was a “Fifty Shades” party where guests are expected to dress up and wear masks.  We didn’t come prepared with masks, but we weren’t the only ones, so that was OK.  We pulled up to the house at 10:30 pm last night and were welcomed by the friendly guards at the gate.  (To understand how amazing this house is, you really need to see it on Google maps: 7930 Vulcan Drive Los Angeles 90046 and the video on the MassPleasures website.  The pool was beautiful and the view of LA was amazing. There’s also a video of the home on YouTube.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ybtXLsf0HI  Check out minute 2:06.  That’s the massage table on which I got thoroughly fingered (great happy ending for me).  And then you’ll see the screening room at minute 2:09 where I got pumped full of cum.  (Sorry to be graphic, but that’s what happened). All-in-all, an incredible night!!  Now we’re up early on Sunday getting ready to drive back home.  Yes, I know, we’re missing church.

Playing with a Friend?

We’re in Phoenix.  We used to live here for a while.  A female friend of ours got divorced a couple of years ago.  She lived in our neighborhood when we lived in Phoenix.  She’s not LDS, but she knows that we are.  She had been in contact with me and had told me that she really needed sex, so I offered to take her out to her local sex club.  On Saturday night, we got dressed up and went over to pick her up.  My husband drove the two of us to the club.  After paying the membership fee, we went in and found a table where we could watch people dance.  One young woman climbed into the cage and did a stripper dance and took her top off.  I then danced with my friend while my husband caressed me and took my top down.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about having my friend see me topless, but in the moment, I didn’t care. 

            We then went to the back room where they had a Sybian sex machine.  If you don’t know what that is, look it up.  You ladies should try one sometime.  There was a couple ahead of us using the machine.  The husband controlled the dials while his wife rode the machine.  She had so many orgasms.  The three of us watched them.  The woman then asked my friend if she’d ever tried it.  My friend said that this was her first time.  The other woman helped my friend climb on and she knelt in front of her.  Her husband managed the controls for my friend.  Within a few seconds, she’d had her first orgasm of the evening, and then the two women were making out and fingering each other and sucking each other’s nipples.  It was very hot.  I wanted to get in the mix, but wasn’t sure if my friend wanted that.  After she finished up, it was my turn.  I climbed on and my husband worked the dials.  My friend sat directly in front of me watching while I came over and over.  I pulled my top down so that she could see my tits and watch while my husband played with them and sucked on them.  I came and squirted.  While doing this, the other woman and her husband invited my friend to play with them.  This resulted in the woman giving her husband a blowjob while the two ladies fingered each other to multiple orgasms.  I laid down next to my friend on a beanbag, gave my husband a blowjob and then had him screw me until we both came.  Afterward, the other woman told us that she was from Utah—that she had been raised Mormon.  We told her that we were from Utah and that we’re active and that we had to hurry home because we were attending church the next morning.  She couldn’t believe it.  We then all got dressed and then the three of us headed home.  On the way home, I mentioned to my friend that my husband had wanted me to play with her but that I wasn’t sure if she wanted it.  She said that she would have loved it.  So, maybe next time.  Needless to say, we were a bit sleepy at church the next morning.

Still Swinging Strong

This is Joe.  (All the names have been changed.) We just returned from another weekend in Vegas.  We hosted what we think was an amazing party in a huge penthouse suite for 60 guests (about 25 couples and some single women).  Some of them had appeared on Playboy’s “Swing” and some of them were strippers.  All of the people were super hot!  We even brought a vanilla couple from home who we had let-in on our little secret.  They served as our assistants during the party.  It was wild and fun.  It didn’t take long for people to start getting naked and playing with each other.  Christy even made out with Jenna and Jacob (the vanilla couple that we brought with us).  We couldn’t get them naked though.  I got some great blow jobs: from the woman on the Playboy channel and from the stripper, Anna.  Then Anna wanted to have sex with me, so we got Christy so she could join us.  We went to one of the bedrooms.  All the bedrooms were full of naked people.  We found a spot on a bed.  She got naked, then I got naked, then put on a condom.  My wife laid down next to her and played with her tits.  I climbed on her and in her and went for it.  I tried to get done, but there were two problems.  One was the condom.  I’m not used to using them.  The other was Anna.  She’s a super-hot friendly blonde (strips at Spearmint Rhino), but she wasn’t super romantic at the moment.  She was a bit chatty and not focused.  I was trying to be intence and she was looking around at my wife.  She was enjoying the moment, but I got the impression that she was “having fun” but not feeling super aroused.  I turned her on her side and I came in from behind—just to try a different angle.  No luck.  I told her that it was the condom’s fault.  So I said that I’d have sex with my wife (without a condom) next to her and we could all grope each other.  So that we did!  And I got done in my wife.

The party went on for a few hours.  People had snacks.  A few people sucked on my wife’s clit, and she came over and over it multiple rooms and positions.  I sucked on a lot of nipples, kissed a lot of women, and licked a lot of pussies.

When it was all over, people put their clothes on and headed out.  We stayed to clean up with our friends Jenna and Jacob and talk for a long time all about sex and the meaning behind swinging.  Jenna had been a bit adventuresome with Christy as a couple of girls.  She’d given Jacob permission to play, but he was reserved. But he did kiss Christy a couple of times.  Hopefully we get to socialize with them again—even in a non-swinging situation.

How to Host a Wholesome Swinger Party

We host swinger parties.  And here’s the problem with swinger parties.

When you were 21, what did you enjoy doing?  Did you like nightclubs, drinking, picking up on intoxicated members of the opposite sex?  Did you meet your spouse at a bar while dancing to loud music?  If this was your life as a twenty-something, then as a thirty-plus-something swinger, these kind of parties invoke nostalgia as the two of you enjoy the swinging lifestyle.

But for some of us, when we were 21, we lived studious church-going lives.  Some of us never went to a strip club or bar.  We met our spouse at a religious retreat.  Now that we’re swingers, we want to have sex with other couples, but how do we meet them?  It’s challenging.  Of course, the internet is a great way, but it lacks the face-to-face.  That’s why we attend swinger events.  But most of the swinger events are designed as a continuation of the night-club scene of which we were never a part.  At best, the swinger events are at mid-quality venues. At worst: a dive-joint.  The music is so loud that it’s impossible to talk to others; the venues may have restrictions on sexual activities, the lighting is dark, and the fog machine makes it a challenge to breathe.  For some, this is sexy, but if it is, it is only so because it is reminiscent of a time gone by.  If we’re honest with ourselves, this is not the assured segue to an orgy.  How about something with better lighting, quiet but sexy background music, clean, and no restrictions on consensual sexual activity?  I’ve been to tons of swinger parties, but never been to one like that that I didn’t host.  To be fair, I have had a couple of people come to a party that I hosted and complain that the music wasn’t loud enough and that too many lights were on, but by that point, they were drunk and no longer sexy to anyone; they just enjoyed the allure of foreplay that is a nightclub.  If couples are really looking to make an intimate connection so they can engage in all the fun and pleasures that swinging can offer, then the events need to mature and be conducive to swinging.

Kink Festival

Last night we went to a Kink Festival.  We took some new vanilla friends who we were hoping to convert into swingers.  It didn't happen last night, but maybe one day.

We were also expecting to see or have sex at the club, but it was just a regular night club that was turned into a kinky festival for a night.  There were booths set up selling whips, corsets, and kinky jewelry.  The stage area had a dance floor and people were dressed very Gothic dancing to laser light and industrial techno music--not really our thing.  Lots of pushed up huge boobs, but no nipples showing :( Too much melancholy noise and depressive stares going on in there, so we bugged out early.

Maybe next time well just take our new friends to a hotel room and try to seduce them. ;)

Just a routine sex party . . .

Some towns are more swinger-dense than others.  This weekend, we were in our home town as we usually are, and even though there aren't a lot of open swingers, we wanted to hold a little event regardless, so we did.  We put out feelers on the usual swinger sites and then at the last minute put an ad on Craigslist trying to fill any remaining spots.  In the end, we got six other couples to join us in our hotel suite.  As we usually do, we have everyone introduce themselves and tell the group about their interests and boundaries, then we play a little game like spin the bottle, or truth-or-dare, that gets people talking and gets them to loosen up.  It doesn't take long before someone's shirt comes off and then someone's dress.  After a little while longer, a few people are naked on the floor messing around, and then a bunch of people are naked having sex.  On this night, many of the couples didn't have full-swap sex with other couples (just some soft-swap oral) or sex with their own spouse.  A few of us did have full-swap sex though.  And we were one of those couples.  (This is Joe writing, by the way).  Of the six couples, we knew one of them from before.  We'd traveled to their city of Salt Lake in the past, and this time they came to us.  She had a baby (their first) in November, and this was their first time playing with another couple since then.  She was a little self-conscious because she hadn't lost as much baby weight as she wanted, but we assured her that no one would care.  They are the sweetest couple.  (He doesn't like to travel, so 50 miles is about his limit).  That's why they don't ever go to Vegas.  Andy is a very kind guy and a perfect gentleman.  It was amazingly hot to see Christy ride him cowgirl on the floor while he gave a "mustache ride" to his wife, and then our wives made-out face-to-face.  There's nothing more arousing than watching your wife have an orgasm.  After she orgasmed many times, she came over to me and climbed on while I laid back in a chair and then I came in her.  Then Andy's wife, Mary, invited Christy to go over and give Andy a blow job (which I photographed) and then climb back on him to have him finish in her.  Mary said to Christy that it had been Andy's fantasy to finish in Christy, so he did.

Afterward, everyone had some snacks and everyone talked (while still naked or half-dressed or wrapped in a towel).  Eventually everyone slowly left to get home to babysitters.  It was a very nice evening--not too wild, not too late; just another nice little sex party.

New Club Last Night

In the spirit of openness and completeness, I ought to say that two nights ago while laying next to my husband in bed, I said, "I want to stop swinging." And I wasn't kidding. I have had no problem with the morals of it. I was, in that moment, worried that it had occupied too much of my psyche and that of my husband. Kind of like of we were chronic knitting aficionados and all we did was do that and nothing else. I was worried that we would progress to forgetting about our kids and our budget and food and just knit/swing. My husband kindly and correctly said, OK. I knew that he was sincere, but also that he would be shocked and that we'd need to discuss it more. But he said that he loved me more than anything and that he'd do anything I wanted. In that moment, I had been having somewhat of a panic attack, and his acceptance of my decision let me feel calm and sleep. And so we did.

The next morning was just a normal morning. We said our usual prayers together, the kids went off to school and he went off to work. I really think that if we never went swinging again, we'd be fine.

But then I got to thinking how much we both enjoyed those occasions, and I realized that if we could just keep them to occasions, then there would be no problem. I do enjoy the attention and the excitement. I just don't want it to be the major theme of our lives. Even though those who read my journal entries would think that we do nothing other than swing. But understand that we don't have other hobbies: we don't hunt, we don't shop much, we don't golf or go boating or go to a lot of movies. We love being with our kids and doing family things, but that's about it. Our only other hobby is traveling to meet people and go to social events and maybe have sex with others. This next day, I changed my mind back. I wanted to keep swinging for now.

I think the reason that this came up now was because we were headed to Denver the next day to visit relatives and go to a new swinger club. Whenever we go to a club event, I get a little anxious and excited about what could happen. During sex with just the two of us, we often describe a gang-bang fantasy, but I don't know if I want that in real life. I don't like the idea of not being in control. I want to control the room and the pace and who goes and comes where. My husband and I discussed this again during our trip here to Denver. I re-explained my desires (which he already knew and accepted). So when we got to the club, we were quite excited. We'd texted with a few couples in the days prior, so we were hoping that someone would be waiting and excited to see us. We went in and paid the membership dues. Someone then came up to me and introduced himself. He was the husband of one of the couples we had been texting. We took the official tour of the club and then got a soda and went over to them. We re-introduced ourselves. I was wearing high-heels, a short dress that barely covered me, and nothing else. We sat down and talked to them for about 30 minutes and got to know everything about them: their background, how they met, their interests, etc. We talked about what we thought of the club and the people there. I purposely let it slip out at an appropriate time in the conversation that I'd be happy to "do" either of them. It was a fun and flirty conversation. Just then another couple came over and butted themselves in the conversation, so we four had to talk to them. After a few minutes, I said to all of them, but looking at the first two, "we're going to go to a play room, if anyone wants to join us." Joe and I stood up and went to the play area. It looked like our friends got trapped, so Joe and I played hard, vigorous, and loudly with each other. (I can get noisy. It's really not intentional. Joe says that it's super erotic). Just as we'd finished my 10th orgasm, the couple came in to apologize and tell us that they'd love to play with us another time. I got dressed, we hugged them goodbye, and then left. It was a great evening of great sex and making new friends. They later emailed us their phone number and told us to contact them the next time we're in town for a date.

We're now off the spend the rest of the weekend with the relatives. (They think that we went to a dinner and a movie last night. I hope they don't ask for too many details). Shhh.

Writing a Craigslist Ad

Here's quick little lesson on what I think is important when writing an ad on Craigslist when looking for other swingers.

First, don't get defensive or threatening.  Posts get flagged and removed all the time for who-knows what reason.  Don't let it get to you.  Sometimes I think that those companies who post fake ads flag the really good ads (like mine) because they don't want real competition.  Be prepared to write 2-3 similar ads and repost them when one gets flagged by another user.

An ad with a cropped photo gets tons more attention.  If you post 2-3 ads, don't use the same photo multiple ads--people will recognize that you're posting multiple times, then flag all your ads.

HWP means height and weight proportionate.  If you show photos of both of you, you don't need to state the obvious.  If you don't show photos, you should list your height and weight, you could also say how fit you are, but be honest.  We do post our real ages, but may change them by a year or two in a second ad.

DDF means drug and disease free.  I used to think, who would post anything other than this?  But then I saw someone recently post that they are both HSV positive with rare outbreaks.  I appreciated the honesty.  If condoms are must, say so.

I think the best thing is to write intelligently.  This can get hard after your tenth ad.  If it sounds rushed, desperate  and defensive ("don't flag me man!"), then who wants to date that?

In the title, we keep it simple and straight forward "Couple for Couple", or "Same-room Soft-swap on Saturday", or "This Friday Downtown Girl-on-Girl"

We like to express our desires in the ad: "we have a room at a nice hotel for Friday night, and we're looking for a couple to meet up with.  Let's meet for dinner and then assuming we all click, we'll go up to the room to play.  We enjoy same-room full-swap."

We often add that I'm bisexual and he's straight, and that we're non-smokers.  We also say that "we're up for just about anything other than pain."  (After a few emails back and forth, we may say that we have a profile on some of the swinger sites, but many couples are skiddish about being urged to go to a website--they may think it's a scam to get them to give out their credit-card information.)

Express your desire for photos.  We often say, "please send photos and we'll do the same.  No genital shots please.  Rated G are great."  I hate it when guys send photos of their penis and nothing else.  I really don't care about penis size, and I don't want to play with a couple who thinks that's their most interesting feature.

We usually conclude with a commitment to have the two women "voice verify" once we all see each others photos and interests.  There's nothing worse than spending days exchanging emails just to discover that they're not going to ever talk on the phone and meet.  Once you know you want to meet them, get on the phone with them.

As a farce, we once wrote an ad that was the epitome of junk ads and all that is bad about Craigslist.  It got a lot of responses from people who enjoyed the irony.

"We're a middle-aged couple who says that we're 21. I'm a hostile homophobic woman with short dull hair, bra size 46A, quite obese, 4'11". I gag often. My husband is an effeminate reclusive with a small penis  (see the 10 photos below), but he's in really good shape. (Round is a shape). We never shave and rarely bathe, so we keep that musky animalistic aura that we know you love. We say we do full-swap, but we'll change our minds frequently during the night.  We've had most STDs and we hate condoms, so you don't have to worry about giving us anything new. We bring drama to most encounters, and expect you to watch it when it happens. It's likely that one of us will freak out at something and storm out, and the other will get drunk and sullen and not leave without telling you about all the other bad experiences we've had. Did we mention that we can't host, and we don't have a car, so you'll have to pick us up and let us spend a night or two in your guest room until you lend us cab fare, which we'll claim to repay at our next play-date, to which we'll no-show. We can voice verify, but whenever you call, I'll be at work, so you'll only ever talk to my husband. We can send pictures, but they're not of us. Please send us photos of you so we can send them to others and claim them as our own. When you reply to this email, don't expect an intelligible response because it will only be a robot responding.  You'll then need to give me your credit card information so I can show you my fake photos on an overseas porn site.  And don't flag this ad, because I'm real."

If you're going to post on CL, you should create an email address that you can use just for this purpose.  It will get tons of spam.

Also, know that half of the responses you get to your ad will be fakes.  You'll have to learn for yourself how to know the real ones from the fakes.  Once you start replying to them, you'll learn.  The good fakes will keep you hooked for at least 2-3 exchanges.  You'll figure out that they're robots when they don't respond to your specific questions.  Some guys will just want to share photos or webcam.  Some people require that a code word be put in the subject line of any replies, but that could weed out some hot, lazy people.  We prefer to get ALL the responses and then we'll reply to those we think are real.  We respond best to those who send photos in the first reply.  We'll say, "your photo gets ours."  For the most part, we don't reply to any email unless there's a photo, especially if we put a photo in our ad.  If they send a face photo, we reply with a photo (cropped or full-face).

Typical Date

We sure are writing a lot today.  I just saw what Joe wrote while I was writing this.  It's pretty common to have a couple back out of a date a day or two before, so it's best to not put all your eggs in one basket.  We would never promise two couples that we'd meet and then cancel one of them, but it's not unheard of to tell one couple "we don't yet know if we'll be free that night, but we'd like to keep chatting with you in case we can get free and if you're still available."  That way, you don't burn a bridge with a hot couple by saying, "no thanks, we picked someone else and we're not choosing you" and then at the last minute you call them back and say, "hey, the first couple bailed on us, so are you still available?"  I mention all this because this is a copy of the email that I just wrote to our backup couple.  They asked us what we like in an evening, and I thought it worth posting here.

We kind of like meeting over dinner somewhere and getting to know each other.  It's nice for us women to talk on the phone first.  Usually by taking on the phone and reading each other's profiles, we kind of know that we have the same boundaries.  At dinner, if everyone is having fun, then we go up to the hotel room.  If at dinner, someone isn't feeling it, then we just say so, but so far it's never happened, but if it did, we wouldn't take offense.  Up in the room, we can order dessert and keep chatting.  Then we find a way to make it to the bedroom and us women undress and get cozy or we two take a bath together.  (I orgasm easily and often).  Then we invite the guys to join us on the bed and we women move back and forth between our guys--maybe I give oral to my husband while your husband does me from behind.  I have to be honest: my husband has a hard time holding back from cuming once he goes in another woman.  It only takes a couple of minutes of thrusting.  That's why he makes sure that the other woman has had as many orgasms from his mouth, fingers, toys, my mouth, my fingers, our double-ended dildo between us, and you husband's cock, before he cums in you.  We sometimes enjoy anal sex, but we've never tried it with another couple and we'd never be pushy about it.  Usually after I've come 10 times with you and your husband, and then my husband cums once with you, we sit back and relax for a few minutes and then 10 minutes later, he's ready for a final round with either you or me, and I'm always good for another 10 unless I've been contorted into a pretzel too much already.  Then everyone sort of gets dressed and chats and laughs and basks in the glow before hugging good night.

Joe here.  A couple of days ago, she and I had talked about setting up a date.  We posted an ad and watched the replies roll in.  In our opinion, there's a good way and a bad way to write a swinger ad.  But the best thing is to include photos, cropped photos, and don't show your crotch.  Any way, we'd had a good deal of responses to our ad, and we'd been chatting online with a few of these couples.  Then just about an hour ago, we got an email from the first couple who we'd full-swapped with in July 2011 (see the post below).  They saw our ad on Craigslist and wanted to know if we wanted to play with them.  We did have a great time with them the first time because it was the first time for us.  But Christy felt a little jealous about the way that I was touching the other woman's knee after I had sex with her.  Christy wasn't jealous about me having had sex with her, but with the way I touched her knee.  Weird, but I understood.  So we didn't really try to play with them again.  And when I got the email today, I was just going to ignore it.  But I just mentioned it to Christy, just now and then went on to mention some other people who had also emailed us.  I then got called to the backyard by the kids.  Just a moment later, I got a text from Christy which says, 

"I have been thinking about it and decided we should play with ______ and ______.  It's hot that they want us this much and kind of cute that she has a crush on you.  It's making me wet to think about; as long as I'm the alpha!!"

Of course, I quickly wrote them back and we set it up!

Black Friday

I refuse to go out shopping today.  It's so much better to sit home and find all the deals on Amazon online.  Yesterday was a lot of fun with all the relatives over at my house cooking together, and the one relative who was dressed most like a skank was not me!  I'm so deep in the closet, no one would ever guess.

The other reason why it's good for me to be at the computer is that I can cruise the swinger websites: Kasidie, SDC, Swingular, and Craigslist (I don't like SLS--they're HUGE, but I just can navigate their messy site).  We're looking for a date.  Now that we've being doing this for a while, we've gotten a bit picky.  We won't just jump into the sack with anyone.  It's not that we're looking for a super hot couple, cause heaven knows that's not us either.  But we would like some nice.  I don't like facial hair, and they have to not look like snobs, and they shouldn't be super old.  And best of all, they have to be able to communicate.  I hate getting those emails from the guy that says "We r  at hilton  till 8 4 and  find us  Shes tight  IM huge!!"  That's actually an email that I got after I answered a Craigslist ad.  Needless to say, I neither understood it nor responded, even though he was smoking hot!!  I actually am turned on by a guy's brain and kindness.

Anyway, in addition to thinking about us getting naked on a bed with another couple and doing it every which way, it's time to start planning the Christmas holiday.  I've got to think about getting the guest room ready (again) for the next round of visitors, and deciding if we're going to take everyone to Soldier's Hollow for sledding or maybe somewhere else for snowmobiling.

If you've never seen this video about swinging, it's great:

Becoming a Swinger

Getting the Itch

We've been to a few parties over the past year, but we haven't really had a nice little hook-up with another couple in a while.  We're setting aside a date in the near future so we can see about arranging a date with another couple.  We've got our profile on all the good swinger sites, but it seems like we just see the same local profiles on there over and over and don't get much action there.  Even though it sounds cheap, Craigslist really is the way to go for finding another couple.  You've just got to be able to wade through the robots and make sure you're talking to a real person.  It took us a good year to figure out how to make Craigslist work for us.  I ought to teach a class on that.  Once you know the techniques, it just takes a lot of quick emails and sifting through everybody.  But once you do your homework, then it's just narrowing them down.  Reminds me of the finding pool, the teaching pool, and then the conversion pool.  We've already got four good couples in the pool tonight after just a few hours of trying while watching TV.  

Just Keeps Topping the Last One

Just driving back home from an amazing weekend in Las Vegas.  We had a wonderful swinger weekend in the Grand Lakeview suite of the Bellagio hotel.  There were about 20 of us who ended up having an orgy. I’ll never forget the song “Lights” by Ellie Goulding.  Two of the women at the party were also professional strippers.  One of them gave the most erotic lap dance to that song.  It was amazing because it was real.  She really was feeling it.  And then she made out with me.  So HOT!!  Before the evening was over, I’d ridden the cocks of two guys and watched my husband screw a woman and then get blown (and swallowed) by her.  There were a lot more details, but that’s the summary.  I don’t know how we could ever top something like that.

Chilaxing

Someone recently emailed me saying that he missed my updates on my blog.  No one should mistake a temporary absence for a complete disappearance.  We're still here doing our thing.  As of late, "our thing" has been working, raising kids, cleaning house, serving in the Church and serving our neighbors, getting ready for back-to-school, car repair, and all the other basic things that everyone else does.  Some people we know who swing* seem to do it every weekend or two.  That's not us.  We have kids and things that are more important, so we only play when we've planned for it far in advance.  But don't worry, there will be more to write about in the future.  We have things planned.

*Despite the name of this blog, we don't like to think of ourselves as "swingers".  We "swing" or "play with others" - just like all people who bowl are not bowlers.

Sex Party in a New City

Wow!  Had an amazing weekend!  We tried out a new city.  We took the drive to a major metropolitan area west of here that is much more happening than Happy Valley.  Over the years we've met some great people from various locations and they invited us to come to their city to have an event.  We hosted this one.  It was about 20 people in a hotel room sitting around and chatting and getting to know one another.  The women started getting frisky with one another and pulling out sex toys.  Then the guys were invited to jump in and play.  By the end of the evening there was a mass of naked people in the middle of the room having sex with whomever!  It was a classic orgy!  By the end of the evening, there were condom wrappers everywhere!  Absolutely amazing.  And there were a lot of photos taken.  Too bad that I can't show them on here.  Where else can you have sex with someone and then afterward say, "please remind me your name."  As always, everyone was very polite and gracious.  No one was pushy or coercive at all.  At the end of the evening, the clothes went back on, we all hugged and kissed goodbye and that was it.  We departed feeling very rejuvenated.

Yet Another Swinger Party!

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Lori's Story (Part 2)

For those who have been waiting for the rest of Lori's story, here it is.  She just emailed it to me.  See below for part 1.

I thought that I could just have a boyfriend to keep my exhusband at bay.  A boyfriend like I used to have in college.  Go out, date, maybe a good night kiss.  But I quickly found out they didn't exist.  For the year I was going through my divorce, I wasn't allowed to attend any LDS Singles events.  I was even booted off one of the online dating sites because I was honest and said my divorce wasn't finished yet.  I made some good LDS friends online, but they were all too far away to date.

But I quickly found out that non-LDS guys wanted more than a kiss goodnight.  And my resistance was soooo  low.  One thing would lead to another, and even if we stopped short of actual sex, I was still hating myself after.  I would drop that guy and try to find another, with the same results.  Even when I decided I could live with that, the guy wouldn't understand where it needed to stop, and we would end up going all the way.

I went to my bishop, and explained I kept trying, and falling, and just couldn't win this addiction.  I was put on probation.  I was told he was giving me time to get it together.  And that is where things stayed.

I finally was officially divorced and started attending singles events.  But this really didn't help. Single Adult guys are remarkably evasive.  Especially to a newly divorced woman with kids that needed a husband.  Not even casual dates materialized.   At least not with anyone I felt safe with.  The only good way out would have been to get married again to the first guy that came along, and believe me, I had many chances, but I just couldn't be with someone who was not right for me or my kids.  But I was so lonely.  I didn't want to fall back into that trap with one night stands.  Eventually I settled with one guy, a non-member, but a Friend with Benefits.  Someone who I could be with when things got really bad.  But someone who had other girls he was seeing and did not want a committment from me.  This left me free to live my own life.  Attend church and singles activities, accept any dates that came up, and not be tied down.

This went on for a while.  But occasionally my friend would try a relationship, and I was not one to cheat with him, even if those promises meant nothing to him.  If the girlfriend lasted long enough, I would end up getting in trouble again.  I didn't want that, so I started looking for other options.

Along this time, I also read "The Sin 'Next to Murder' " https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pdf/143-34-43.pdf I had been wondering how I could be such a bad person, but still be recieving all this inspiration from the Lord regarding jobs he had for me in the singles program. I realized I was not a bad person, God still loved me, and understood. I began to realize that adultery and fornication really were two different things, and the one was not nearly as serious. I still tried to be as good as possible, but felt I could stay active in the church without feeling condemned.  I didn't want to fall away from the church, but I did realize that just because one man thought something and taught it as doctrine, didn't mean it came from Heavenly Father.  I was  supposed to ponder and pray and decide on my own.  I pretty much decided when in doubt, I would go back to what Joseph Smith taught.  And he did say that there were many things of this world that he couldn't tell us yet, that would cause us to fall away from the church.  I think this is because so many people brought what they believed from their own churches into ours, that if we differed too radically, they couldn't believe it.

At this time I really started looking at polygamy.  I was starting to understand it.  After all, I had a sudo-boyfriend that I couldn't be jealous of, even caring for him like I did.  I was finally understanding how a woman could allow her husband to have more than one wife.  I was also seeing that if a woman and man (Mary and John) had children under the temple covenant, and then John died, and this happened with another sealed family (Susan and Steve) and then Susan died, and then Mary and Steve got married (sealed) and had kids this could cause problems in the next life. After all, Mary and Steve still loved their first spouse.  But if the couples could accept polygamy and share, Mary could be with both John and Steve, and John could be with both Susan and Mary, and everyone could be happy.  Radical thinking, I know.  Not something most Mormons like to imagine.

I had never gotten along with the girls in my high school.  And only made a few girl friends once I was married (having given up all my guy friends at that time like a good wife).  So girls still terrified me in some ways.  I wanted to overcome that.  The scriptures told us we needed to be able to accept that "new and everlasting covenant" (i.e. polygamy) in order to make it to the celestial kingdom.  Not live it necessarily, but at least understand and accept it.  How in the world was one supposed to do that?

I decided that I should try it.  Find a woman who was willing to share her man, and discover what it was all about.  I can't remember now exactly how it came about, but I began talking to couples who were looking for that "unicorn".  The single woman to join them.  But it solved my problem.  They didn't want someone who would destroy their relationship.  I was free to live my own life and leave if I found someone with whom I wanted a relationship.  To me, I had to care for them, it had to mean something, too.  The whole point was I didn't want one night stands.  Eventually I found a man who was not controlling, and his committed partner who was active in her church and easy to get along with.  Not being married, I didn't even have to question if it was adultery or not.  She even had LDS swinger friends.   We hit it off.  I remember the first night, we had a nice dinner at their house, and took time to get to know each other.  I ended up staying.  When we began, she asked what I wanted to do, and I said, "No offense, (to the man), but I know I am ok with guys, I need to see if I can do this with a woman too."  And she said, "No problem" and leaned forward to kiss me.  It was just like kissing a guy.  I was not attracted really to either of them, but I enjoyed our times together.  There was no stress, no jealousy, just enjoyment, love, and pleasure.  They are happy for me when I am in a relationship, we will always be friends.  I imagine when it is the way it is supposed to be, this is the way polygamy should be.

........

It was very hard for me at one time to understand why the Lord would tell me to marry someone knowing I would end up in divorce.  I almost went inactive then, and obviously almost did several times since.  But I have always remained faithful and tried to make the best choice that was available to me.  The lesser of two evils, so to speak.  I don't feel that the Lord has penalized me for any of my choices.  I continued to work as hard as I could following the inspiration he was sending me, and I have made tremendous advances that have helped many singles in the church.  But I felt all along that he was preparing me for something else.  I told him I didn't want that first trial again, that he needed to find something else for me.  This time I wanted to marry someone I really LOVE, not just the person He picked for me, that I needed to help.

Right now, I am in a relationship with a wonderful LDS guy I have had a crush on for a long time.  I just told him my story.  And he told me his.  He is Bi-Sexual.  And struggled all his life with the Church's teachings and the prejudice that exists against him.  It is my turn to help him.  Everything I have gone through in my life has prepared me to be a support for him.  The Lord knew what he was doing this entire time, and even though I couldn't see it in these Middle Moments, all will work out in the end if we will just listen and obey those promptings, even the ones no one else can understand.

I don't know if this is the end of my story, but maybe it is a new beginning.

Nasty Sex Club

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